Life is hard, but God is good!!

I love that old Kim Hill song and the lyrics are SO true!! Sometimes we're just sailing along and WHAM-O! we're hit with something we never saw coming and other times we can see it coming from a mile away but there's not one single thing we can do to stop it! This is where I find myself today.

My mom was taken from her Dr. appointment yesterday to the ER - by ambulance. The Dr. was so concerned with her blood pressure that she wouldn't allow my sister to drive mom there. (It was 231/112!!) Without going into all the details, mom is now in the ICU where they're trying to stabilize her pressure and get her oxygen levels where they need to be. Mom's had a lot of medical problems over the years - my friend Terry, a nurse, said "Girl, your mom's a medical nightmare!" which she is. Like I said I've seen this coming for some time so now, here we are.

It's tough being 4 hours away. It's tough not being able to talk to the Dr.'s myself and rely on someone else to get information to me. (given my medical background I'm a "need to know" kinda girl when this kinda stuff comes up) It's tough to not worry and be afraid. It's tough to not be able to look at mom, pat her hand and tell her things are gonna be ok. It's tough. But I trust God more than I trust ANY Dr. I trust God more than I trust my sister - and I'd trust her with my life. I trust God more than anything! I know that He'll guide the Dr.'s and give them wisdom - I know He'll give my mom peace and comfort and keep her from being lonely and afraid - and I know that He'll sustain me during this time - because I asked Him to. See, my God has been so faithful to me in my life that I KNOW He'll take care of all of this. My only request is that you'll join me is asking Him to do the same!!

I'll try to keep you updated! Thanks.

Are you trustworthy?

I was reading about Caleb and how the Lord found him trustworthy and it really got me thinking. I've had issues with trust in my life. Some pits I jumped into with both feet, some pits I was slung into by the hair of my head and some I gradually slid into caused me to come out not trusting people. Then the Lord puts me with a man whose 1st wife had an affair so he obviously had developed some trust issues as well.

I imagine that Caleb had a rough life. The book we're doing as a church "Divine Encounters in the Old Testament" has been truly amazing and this story of Caleb really got me thinking. Caleb's name meant dog. Now in our society today people don't really put much stock in the meaning of a name - it's mostly for sentimental value. But in Caleb's day - now that was a different story. I imagine people throwing dog biscuits at him (or whatever scraps of food they had), people barking at him, telling him to stay...you get the idea. Sidebar - what in the world were his parents thinking? It's as bad as the guy in WV when I was growing up named Hogjaw Twaddle! For real! It was listed in the phone book that way!! hahahaha

Ok, back to Caleb. Despite his past God found him to be a whole-hearted servant. Trustworthy. I wonder, does God say the same of me? Does He look at me and say "Now there's one I know I can trust with this?" I know there've been times in my life when He wouldn't even consider it, but thank you Jesus, I'm not that person anymore!! Not to say I still don't fall flat on my face - OFTEN - but I know He's finding me (at least a little) trustworthy. Mainly that's because I've been in the place where there was no one and no thing left to trust but Him! Where everywhere I looked there were lies, deceit and fakeness! (is that a word? Guess not the spellcheck says so but I like it!) I've been driven to the point that all I could do was say "God, I do not understand this, I don't like it and I'm quite angry about it, BUT I trust You! I trust Your hand and Your will so I will follow."

Have you been to that place? Are you there now? Let me just tell you that He is the ONLY thing you can trust and He is the ONLY One trustworthy!!! He can take 2 messed up people like Jimmy and I - 2 people who trust others as much as we can pick them up and throw them and make us love and trust each other COMPLETELY! With our whole hearts!!! THAT is the Hand of God!! That's what He wants for all of us!! Won't you trust Him with it?!

"When I leave I wanna go out like Elijah"

I had the honor of seeing Rich Mullins perform this song live and I have ALWAYS loved it!! This weekend God sent me to 1 Kings to do a little reading on our chariot-riding friend and let me tell you that I think he and I are going to be GREAT friends in heaven! Not because I'll be in the same social circles as him there, but our sarcastic personalities will link us together! (ok, ya'll know I'm kidding right?!)

Anyway, as he's callin' out the prophets of Baal for speaking against God and they're praying for a little "sign" from their god and he busts them, oh land sakes it just cracked me up!! They cried out to Baal from morning til noon and nothin! They danced around the little altar they made doing their best to get his attention. (I'm sure they thought nothing like a little prophet electric slide would get them noticed!) So what my friend Elijah say? (this is the VV -Valarie Version) Yell louder ya'll! He must be in a yoga class or maybe he's on the cell phone, did he go on vacation and forget to tell ya'll? (see I told you we'd be GREAT friends!)

So what do they do? They cut off the slide music and start slicing themselves with their swords! WHAT?! Now if I was a bystander to this little "show" that right there would've made me jump on God's side! Ain't no WAY I'm gonna slice myself!! C-R-A-Z-Y!! So they kept this up til it was time for the evening sacrifice and what did they get....a big fat NOTHIN!!! This is where it gets good! Elijah calls the people over and rebuilds the altar these bozo's had torn down and then he places 12 stones around it, dug a trench around that. He lays out the wood, cuts up the bull (in more ways than one! haha), and puts it on top. Has them pour 4 large jars of water on it not once, but 3 times so it's good and soaked and even the trench was filled up. Then he steps back and sets the whole thing on fire - no - then he starts his own version of the electric slide - no - then he whips out the trusty sword - no! HE PRAYS!!!!

Do you get that?! He PREPARES the altar, goes thru the steps of getting the sacrifice ready and then he PRAYS!! And what a prayer it is! "O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command." Ok, let me pause for a sec here. He first makes it clear to ALL who are listening exactly who it is he's praying to and makes it clear that he IS who he says he is! "Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God and that you are turning their hearts back again." I Kings 18:36b-37 Does that prayer hit you like it hits me? He could've asked God for revenge on these false prophets or he could've asked God to blast them all off the planet - anything! But what does he pray for? For God to show Himself to the listeners so that they will turn back to Him! He doesn't ask for any harm on anyone (at least not yet anyway!) or for God to do anything magical or mystical! He just asks for God to reveal Himself to be the One True God so that people would know He's calling them to Himself! Does that blow your mind?!! It sure did mine!!!

Now if you don't know the rest of the story you'll have to go read it, but if you do, you know that God showed up and He showed off that day!! I love that about God! He's a show off kinda God!! So Elijah was an amazing man - flawed with a sarcastic tongue - but God still did some AMAZING things thru him. Now, PLEASE don't think I'd dare compare myself to this amazing prophet I'm just saying that stories like his give me such hope! That's why God has them in the Word in the first place! To encourage us that we WILL mess up but He will clean us up!!! Love that about Him!!

Ya'll have a great one - the little ones will be here soon!

Weekend Worship

Little late gettin this one out, but land sakes, SOMEBODY lift your hands!!! WOOOOOO!!

Lighten up....

Ok, so after yesterday's blog I thought I'd lighten things up a bit today! Sorry about getting so fired up, but that's who I am! hahaha



Some of you may remember that I jumped off the bridge of faith and landed in the role of leading a Bible study for the ladies of our music ministry. Well, it's happening and we've had 19 women sign up so far!!! That's AMAZING!! I thought it would just be me and my girlfriends that I MADE come! hahahahaha I'm telling you that God is gonna have to empower me like He never has before because....well I'm just not gonna allow Satan to remind me of what I'm NOT and I'm just gonna trust what God IS and what God CAN DO in any old donkey! (I mean, if He can make a stubborn donkey talk, come on...) All I ask is that you be in prayer for our study. It's God's study and it's God's agenda NOT MINE!!!

It's just like God to have me studying Moses in the "Divine Encounters" book and then to have Solomon all around me at the same time. I can feel Him telling me that it doesn't matter if I STINK at being a speaker or it doesn't matter what my past was. All that matters is that I'm seeking His wisdom, that all I want is to know Him more and HE will handle the rest. I can see that promise with this study! I doubted that people would want to come. I doubted that we'd find a leader. I doubted that I would be that leader. Sin, sin, sin. So I spent some time on my face and....here we are. It's funny because the old Valarie would be freakin' COMPLETELY out over this. But God (woohooo) has been sending me such AMAZING love notes to reassure me that I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength! If I will get out of His way, well, I'd better hold on tight!!

So that's what I'm doing. I'm holding on, I'm trusting Him, I'm leaning on HIS understanding and knowing that HE will make my path straight! Listen to these lines from my God Calling yesterday "Do you not see that I am a Master Instrument-maker? Have I not fashioned each part? Do I now know just what it can bear without a strain? Would I, the maker or so delicate an instrument, ask of it anything that could destroy or strain?" LAND SAKES!! Don't you just love our God?! I know I sure do!! Ya'll have a great day and I'll talk to ya tomorrow!! Show some love today!!!

I'm Determined

2 Chron. 29:10-11 "I have decided to make a covenant with the God of Israel and turn history around so that God will no longer be angry with us. Children, don't drag your feet in this! God has chosen you to take your place before him to serve in conducting and leading worship—this is your life work; make sure you do it and do it well."

As promised, I'm coming back to this AWESOME verse in 2 Chron today. When I was researching verse 11 - which was the one that Dr. Doug shared with us in choir practice - I went to my trusty Bible Gateway site and pulled up several different translations of this verse but every time I kept coming back to The Message translation. Now, I know some people have a problem with the Message and no, I don't think you should build your theology on it, however, it is a FANTASTIC reference!! (Before I go any further please know that I'm no theologian here, just a girl trying to bring alive the Word in my life!)

When I tried to pull up verse 11 it would bring verse 10 with it. I guess so that you could have the context, but me being the way I am, I went back and tried it time and time again and EVERY time it would bring along verse 10, so like I said yesterday, "Am I listening?" So I took some time in verse 10. "I have decided to make a covenant with the God of Israel" I've done the Beth Moore tabernacle study where she goes to great lengths to explain what making a covenant is all about. It's soooo much more than a promise. To try to explain it, think of a time you've heard a war hero telling a story that he promised to come back for his wounded buddy, and he does and rescues them both. That soldier wasn't just making a flippant promise, he was going to do whatever it took to get himself back to rescue his friend. Even if it meant dying in the process. Now that's making a covenant!!

"and turn history around so that God will no longer be angry with us." Now this part of the verse tore me up!! I'm going to make a vow to God to try to change history. This verse is talking about a time when God was angry with the Israelites and their whining. Can anyone relate to that? I know I sure can!! I know that I've made God angry. I've hurt His heart. I've disappointed Him. I've disrespected Him. (with worry, thanks Lisa!) So as I sat here and read this verse the Lord spoke to me that it's time to change MY history. It's time to change the history of my family, the history of the music ministry, the history of my church. Now, I'm no Moses, but the best way I can wage war in this battle is on my knees! On my knees for my man and my kids. Ok, let me stop right there. If you don't know this about me yet, I'm a pray-er! I love to pray, I've prayed for years. But God (woooo love that) showed me that it's more than the obligatory, "protect them, keep them healthy," etc) it's time to get on my face and pray some specifics. Pray for Jimmy's heart at work, pray for his eyes as he's in an environment with a lot of women, pray for his hands to be prosperous. You get what I'm saying here? God doesn't want to hear what I'm "supposed" to pray about, He wants to hear me pleading for the things that matter most to me. He wants my praise not my laundry list of "needs"!

So here's the challenge. "Children don't drag your feet in this! God has chosen you..." Do you hear that? It's time to get off the fence! It's time to stop playing church! It's time to stop going to God like He's a genie in a bottle waiting to grant your every wish! It's time to stop dragging your feet thinking, well I've blown it today, I'll start tomorrow. No!! DO IT NOW! Tell Him now! Pray now!! Do you want to change history for this country? It's not about primaries or candidates - even if change is their motto - it's about all of us - every one of us who is CHOSEN getting on our knees and making a covenant to do it EVERY day, every hour, every time He lays it on our hearts and minds. Sisters, don't drag your feet any more!!!!!

God is speaking!!! Am I listening?

Ok, so a slight detour from the 2 Chron verse today. I'll be back to that though. So my sweet friend Melissa reminded us of how God often repeated things He wanted to be SURE we heard, or how he would call people by name over and over to make sure they were listening. (Think of Jesus saying "Peter, do you love me?") So I just had to share about my day yesterday.

So, I told you about that INCREDIBLE sermon Dr. Rummage shared yesterday morning from Prov. 4:5-9 on gaining wisdom. I mean, it was like he could've started sentences with my name!! In fact, a couple of times I was certain he did! The funny thing is Nicki and Mandy said the exact same thing happened to them! THAT'S when you know God is speaking!! So, anyway, I started a new devotional book called "Completely Loved" and I've really been enjoying it. I pick it up and the devotion title was "You are completely loved by your Wise Counselor"! OH YES! The devotion was drawn from Solomon's prayer for wisdom. I just sat there cracking up!

THEN, I'm in the car talking to my sister on the phone about my mom and the latest with that (which your prayers are being heard sweet sisters! She's had several good days with just a hint of confusion, but no hallucinations!!) and I had the radio turned down. When we're done I turn up the radio and Leslie Niese goes "So I opened up my Bible and began reading about Solomon asking God for wisdom"!! I NEARLY WRECKED THE CAR!!! So do ya think maybe God is trying to tell me to just seek Him and not try to do this life thing on my own?! I'm thinkin' so!! I just had to share all that with you guys! God just cracks me up! My personality is one that I see the humor in everything He does - well most everything! Anyway, I just love Him so and I just can't wait to get to heaven and tell Him to His holy face!!!!

PS - Please pray for sweet Tracy today. She hasn't blogged much lately because she started a new job but her grandfather died yesterday. Her grandma passed right before Thanksgiving and she said that he was just waiting to get her thru before he joined her. Pray that God will comfort her and remind her that He has a plan in all this! Thanks.
God in heaven, wrap your arms of comfort and peace around my sweet sister Tracy today. She's been so faithful in visiting her grandparents in the nursing home and I'm sure this is going to be yet another adjustment and change in her life, but you remind her today that You have a plan and that You will show yourself worthy of praise even in the valley of the shadow of death! Thank you for bringing her into my life! I love you Lord. In Jesus' name I ask these things. Amen.
Love ya T!


ADDED: Thought this was worth poppin' back on to share with you all! God is even speaking thru my kids. My daughter Kayley had to write out a New Year's wish tonight as part of her Kindergarten homework. Yes, I said KINDERGARTEN homewordk. Anyway, I asked her what her wish for the new year was and she said "For everybody to love each other more, Mommy. You know, like Jesus love us." KILLED ME!! Land sakes sometimes they can be so sweet you could just squeeze them!! hahaha