Forgiveness

Oh how my heart hurts today for my friends Tim and Lori. They are burying their 21 year old son today who was killed in a motorcycle accident on Saturday. Oh Lord, please don't ever make me go thru that. I've given 2 babies to you already but they were babies I never actually got to hold. I can't even imagine it and pray I never have to!

The man who hit their son has multiple convictions, has been jailed 4 times in the last 2 years, and was driving a stolen vehicle with no driver's license. He fled the scene and then removed the tags from the car so the police couldn't find it. Unreal. My first initial reaction was to get angry and say "What was he thinking?" but then the Lord reminded me of the MANY times He's shook His holy head at me and wondered the very same thing! (Not that He didn't know what I was thinking, of course He already did!)

Today I'm thinking about forgiveness. Could I forgive someone who took one of my children from me? I can honestly say, I don't know! I'd love to say that with God's help I could but I have been learning lately that the sin of unforgiveness runs VERY deep in my family. Unforgiveness for things done in anger, unforgiveness for things done in pride, unforgiveness for hurt feelings, unforgiveness for things said in anger and in gossip. My dad came from a large family (12 kids) so there was a LOT of room for hurt feelings! So would I forgive someone...I can TRULY say that it would have to come from God and with Him all things ARE possible. After all, He forgave me when I took His Son from Him!!!!

That's what His love is all about. That's why in the midst of all this hurt for my friends I'm choosing love. I'm gonna love my husband more openly, I'm gonna love my kids more unconditionally, I'm gonna love my brother and my sisters more frequently and I'm gonna love my mom despite the past. I'm gonna tell my friends I love them more and not just assume they know it. I'm choosing love. I pray that you'll choose it to! It is a choice - and not an easy one sometimes - but I choose to love as my Father has loved me!

I love you for taking time to read my blog. Thanks.

Obedience at all costs

I've been reading in the book of Ezekiel how the Lord was warning the Israelites of their impending destruction because of their disobedience. It's so easy to get caught up in all that wrath and think that's what God is all about. Judgement and wrath. He is. Yet, He's so much more!!!

The book was written by the prophet Ezekiel who was wholeheartedly, radically, sold out, obedient. Laid on his side for months - because God told him to. Did not speak unless God told him to. Did not grieve for the death of his wife because God told him not to. WOW! That's what I'm talkin' about! Now that's some serious obedience! Am I that obedient? HARDLY!!! Do I want to be? From the depths of my soul I do!!! I want the Lord to be proud of me. I want the Lord to say "You go girl!!!" (yes I believe He talks that way!!!)

I haven't blogged the last couple of days because my lupus is rearing up a bit and my hands have been hurting but today God said for me to talk about obedience and here I am. Sore fingers and all! Obedience at all costs...

I pray that you will have the courage to be obedient. It can be frightening but remember "Greater is He that is in YOU then he that is in the world!" With the Father's help "all things are possible". Even radical obedience!!! Step out...He's there holding your/my hand!!

Remember the Sabbath

It's rainy and dreary here today but oh how Jesus shined in our church this morning!! Our pastor, Dr. Brown, is so amazing. He's changed so much in the 9 years we've been at HGBC and I see changes still today. Some may say he's becoming a bit "sappy" in his old age but let me tell you that his newest vision of "Welcome Home" at our church is awesome!

Today we watched a short video from abc news about their person of the week. It was a Mr. Brady (forgot his 1st name) from Dallas who is a part of an organization that goes to the airport and welcomes home returning soldiers from Iraq and Pakistan. It was very touching especially when Dr. Brown shared about being spit on when he came home from Vietnam!! Anyway, his point is that each week we all face wars. Wars of finances, wars of crime, wars of emotional struggles, wars of anger in our homes, wars on every front. How nice it is to walk in the doors of Hickory Grove and have people - our family - throw their arms around your neck and say "WELCOME HOME"! You've fought another hard week, now sit, rest and worship the One who brought you thru the battle!! WOW!

I have to say that I'm loving my church family more and more every week. I grew up in church my ENTIRE life and loved some of those folks dearly but it's never been like this! I guess that's because I've never loved my Jesus like this! He is my EVERYTHING! He is my LIFE! He is my SAVIOUR! I just can't wait to get to heaven, have Him open up those holy arms of His and finally hear the sweetest sound ever - "Welcome home, child, welcome home"!

WOOHOO it's FRIDAY!!

Even though I don't work outside of my home full time I still just LOVE Fridays!! I think it's knowing I get Jimmy home and the kids here! Plus I think it's knowing how close we are to Sundays!! My FAVORITE day of the week!! And I'm not just saying that. I love meeting at the Lord's house, I love worshipping Him with my family and friends and I love getting my "beef" for the week! LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!

God is good and He's peeling so many layers off of me lately. Layers of stuff that had been buried deep or stuff I really hadn't even thought of as sin - I guess I thought it was "just the way I am"! Boy what a ding dong!! Thank you for your patience with me Lord! You certainly have a sense of humor!!!

I pray that all of you have a marvelous, Big G God weekend and that He will show up and show off in Big G ways for you!!! He's waiting. Just ask!!!

A flashing neon sign please!!

Lord today You just keep knocking my socks off! Jimmy got an offer from Wachovia!! HUGE! Of course, it's contingent on passing the drug test, criminal background and credit check. The drugs are obviously not a concern and neither is the criminal check - though there was a mix up on one done on him a few months ago. An arson charge in Ohio with a 2 year sentence in prison while Jimmy was in high school in WV! Obvious identity mix up that got taken care of. But, the credit history - well that's a concern. We lost everything we had in 2002 - home, vehicle - so that may be a problem. Jimmy disclosed this info to them during the interview, but they said they would just have to wait and see. So, Lord, I pray that you'll remove all these potential problems and make this job happen if it's your will for Jimmy.

In the meantime, another company has contacted Jimmy to do Outside Sales with an automotive warehouse distributor. This is RIGHT UP Jimmy's alley! He was in the automotive (parts) business for 18 years and it's what he's always known. The people were very excited about Jimmy - pushed his resume to the "front of the pack". They have a good salary, very good benefits (not quite like Wachovia in some areas), a company car and expense account, just a lot of good perks. Plus, this schedule wouldn't conflict with his church service whereas the Wachovia job would.

Thus, the flashing neon sign request!! Lord, just please let us know which job to take. Let Jimmy have supernatural clarity about which way to go, such clarity that can only be from You. The enemy is making him doubt himself and I pray in the name of Jesus that Satan be bound in all his attempts to make Jimmy question Your lead in His life! Lord, surround Him with your clarity. We know confusion comes from the enemy so we bind his efforts by the blood of Jesus! Thank you Father for providing for us in so many ways. Thank you for blessing me with 9 Kindermusik students again this semester and all the other opportunities with KM. Bless them Lord. I love you Lord and can't wait to see what you have in store for my family!

Rearview mirror

This week in "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore we've been studying generational sin. This is a difficult concept for many of us because we'd just as soon leave those skeletons in their closet. I also think some have a tendency to think that they are going to be punished for something our "fathers" did so they use it as an excuse to say "Why bother?" I've really been learning that the punishment comes when we recognize our father's sins and follow in their footsteps because - after all - it's just the way we are!! Or, it's the way we were raised!

This is where the deceptor does his best work. He makes us think that we have no control over whatever that sin is - anger, unforgiveness, selfishness, racism, whatever - and that we can't change it because it's planted in us. I'm here to tell you that Satan is a LIAR!! We CAN make the change with Christ's help!! He came to free us from the bonds of sin. He wants to set us free simply because He loves us that much! He wants us to have abundant lives not just surviving! Please take a glance in your rearview mirror and if there's anything you see that needs cleaning bring it to the Father, let Him wash you clean and keep driving! Glance back don't focus there!! The Father wants you to be free in Him!

Overwhelmed and at a loss for words!

You know the title for this blog isn't something that happens often for me! I'm not frequently at a loss for words but the Lord has left me speechless so many times in these last few weeks! He is so very good to me! My life - by worldly standards - should be a wreck. My husband doesn't have the greatest job security, his company is preparing for yet ANOTHER merger, we don't own a home and the one we're in is TINY for the 5 of us, we're living basically on the generosity of others, we don't have health insurance, the list goes on and on. YET, here I am telling you that my life is filled with JOY! I mean total and complete JOY!!!!

Yesterday morning was an awesome day of worship but I was a bit distracted because my lupus was showing itself a bit. My hands and feet were SO swollen and there's a lot of walking at my church. 3 kids in 3 different corners of the church. But it was still good. Then on the way to church Jimmy starts apologizing to me for his attitude because he was worried about his job interview last week. I then started quoting Phil 4:6-7 reminding him not to worry but pray. Then after we finished singing we stood there debating whether to come home or stay for the preaching. (unfortunately Sunday's are such a long day for us sometimes we slide out and come home) But God had a divine appointment that we needed to keep last night. You see, the title of Dr. Rummage's sermon was "How to Kiss Your Worries Goodbye" from - you guessed it - PHIL. 4:6-7!!!!!! TOOOOO FUNNNYYYYY!!!

So, at the end of the sermon during the invitation Dr. Rummage invited people to come to altar and leave their worries there for the Lord. For the first time in a VERY long time the atlar at our church was flooded with people! Me, being one of them! After I finished leaving my worries and praying with some friends who were doing the same I stood to go back to my seat and here comes Jimmy down the aisle and I notice he has my son Chase with him!!! Yes, all on his own Chase had prayed to receive Christ Saturday night in his bed and he was ready to come up and make it public!!! I LOST IT!!!!!!!! My baby got saved! Thank you Jesus! I know this happened in spite of me because I'm not the best example but I praise Jesus for calling my baby to Him and that Chase was ready and willing!

Continue to pray for us and for Jimmy's job situation and pray that I will help develop Chase into the man that God wants him to be! Thank you Jesus!