Wow......

I'm sure no one will even be reading this blog, but hopefully one day my kids will pop on here and be able to find comfort in knowing that their Momma loved Jesus, loved their Daddy and ADORED them! So, for that reason, I will try to get back to bloggy world.

Let's see if I can sum up the last 5 months in a just a few sentences. Still working part time, though my boss was gracious enough to let me work from home!! YAY GOD and thanks Roy! We have moved and I'll make the story of our move another blog entry....WAY too amazing not to share it. God was so faithful and he TOTALLY showed off with our new home!! We have a pool for crying out loud!!!!! Hubby got a new work van that we are allowed to use for our family - again God showing off! Kids have been doing GREAT - though they're kinda 'bored' since Momma has to work M - Th. We are blessed. I mean, I can't even begin to explain to you how blessed we are!!! God has been so faithful to me and to my family - despite our shortcomings and He has just blown me away this summer!!!

So, it's getting late on this pre-Lord's day evening and I will get back to blogging soon but for now all I can tell you is that God is good!!! He provides, He sustains, He blesses, He loves!!! If you don't believe that.....well you're just looking at the wrong thing!!! "Seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Mth 6:33 Jesus' words, NOT mine! Just sayin.......

OH NO HE DI'INT!!

It's been a while since I've taken the time to sit down and blog, but after my morning I knew I was gonna share this story! I'm going to warn you that if you think I've got it together you are going to be sadly disappointed in me, but if you're willing to hear this as one who messes up like the rest of us then read on....just tryin' to keep it real!
Alot has changed since I was last on here. We're fixing to move....still don't know where, but we are...and I started a part-time job. The Lord was faithful to provide it for me - though it wasn't something I really WANTED, it was something I really NEEDED to do during this time for my family! He was gracious enough to give me a Christian office and not just one of those feel good Christian offices, but I know the owner and he's a real, talk it and walk it Christian...fruit EVERYWHERE if you know what I mean. The in God's loving generosity to me He gave me a job that allows me to take my kids to school every day and pick them up - basically I work while they're in school. They're home...I'm home! God is good!
So back to this morning. My #2 child's grade level left today for their DC trip and we were just not in a financial place to let him go. When I woke him this am he went straight to the clock, looked at it and goes "Well mom, they're loading the bus for DC right now!" He was then very quiet on the way to school and asked if we could go visit my stepson this summer who lives very close to DC. By the time we got to school I was about to explode into tears, but I waited until he was out of the car.
As I drove home to get ready for work I proceeded to have myself quite the little hissy fit with God. I told Him how tired I was of this and of that, how I understood why people walk away from Him when it feels like He's not doing anything to help us. (AS IF!..ugh) Just sat in that car and pitched myself a good one. No response. No special little song on the radio to cheer me up. No Scripture brought to my mind to remind me who I am...who He is. NOTHING. Until....
I leave the house with #1 to take him to school (he goes later than #2 and #3). We're driving by this sweet little church with one of those electronic signs out front and they always have the best verses or sayings on there so I was sure to look as we drove by. What was there....."In your anger do not sin" Ps 4:4!!! OH YES IT WAS!!! I immediately start cracking up and apologizing to God for my behavior. Doesn't He just kill you?! Then I got to work and started making my calls and don't you know that for well over an hour EVERY call that placed me on hold either had Christian music playing or even a Pastor teaching!!!! I just sat there cracking up at how patient He is, how kind and loving He is, and yet how gentle - even in correction - He is!!!
Anyway, it ended up being a great day and when I picked up #2 today he goes "Mom I had a blast at school today and guess what....NO HOMEWORK this week!" So even if he's still a little sad about missing this trip, he's just as happy here with us AND he doesn't have to miss his guitar lesson! That's right, my little man is seeing that glass half full! Makes my heart skip a beat!

Alive and active indeed......

I love to study the Bible. I mean, to find the ins and outs of Scripture - there's nothing better. However, I did my first precept study last fall - and it wasn't even a REAL precept - it was BASED on precept. It was Kay Arthur's Covenant study and let me tell you that it CHANGED MY LIFE! Not Kay Arthur, not the study, but the Word of God changed me......AGAIN!!!

Here's a little background.....I had heard of Kay Arthur's precept studies and heard about the lists, and the coloring and the marking and I have to tell you just talking about it gave me a bit of a headache. I'm not really a detail kinda girl, more of a big picture person. So when I was asked to join the Covenant study by our women's director this people pleaser of course said yes - all the while kicking and screaming! Then the Lord started peeling back the veil - giving me glimpses of things I'd NEVER seen in His Word and when it came time to sign up for the full fledged Genesis precept, I was one of the first on the list!!!

So, 3 weeks ago I began this journey diving into Genesis and let me tell you friends - the pool is DEEP!! We have spent 3 weeks and haven't made it past Gen 2:4!!!!!!! Who knew?! (besides God of course) I have learned more about creation and the great lengths God went to to use His Word to prove His Word over and over then I have ever known. I have learned that I don't need ANYONE else to spoon feed me the Word. I have learned that even this ditsy blonde can GET IT!! God's Word has become alive and active to me like never before - and not just parts of it - ALL OF IT!!! The hard part now comes in making what's alive and active motivate me to clean up the junk in me that God can't use. That's where the work truly is. Not in the studying, but in the applying! I will tell you though, that I'm LOVING it! I mean, I can't say I won't ever do another kind of study cause you know I LOVE me some Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer and so many other anointed teachers, but I can say that I don't NEED them to teach me because "No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord', because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest." Heb 8:11

Wow.....

I can't even believe how long it's been since I've blogged. So long in fact, that no one will likely notice that I HAVE blogged! Lol That's ok really because this is mainly for my kids anyway!! ;-)

2010......WOW! Where in the world did 2009 go? I mean really! I can vividly remember my parents talking about how time seemed to fly the older they were getting and I would think "Are you kidding me? I'm never gonna turn _____(fill in the blank! lol)!" Now I know just how right they were...about many things!

So today I just wanted to post about my hopes for the new year. It's starting with mixed blessings for my family. We're moving....again. Long story. But I'm really anxious to see how the Lord is gonna make this happen, because it's gonna be NOTHING short of His hand doing it! We're also starting with some big changes with Jimmy's job. Changes that are for the good, both for the position he's in and financially. Also BIG changes at our church!!! A pastor that I never thought would return is in fact coming home...Rev. Clint Pressley! AMAZING how the Lord did that work! I can't wait for this adventure!!

Changes with One Voice. One of our sweet members has decided to pull out because of her commitments at home (which I FULLY understand) but I will still miss her presence! We're also facing some exciting months ahead with several opportunities that the Lord has presented us with. Keep us humble Lord!!

So, all in all 2010 is off to a bumpy but thrilling start. I'm kinda seeing it like a roller coaster. Right now we're on the climb up the tallest hill of the ride, but I can see the crest and I can't wait til I can let go with both hands, throw my arms in the air and scream (like a girl of course) as we race down the other side in complete joy!!! All things joy!!! NO FEAR, NO WORRIES, just reckless, abandoned JOY!!!! That's my motto for 2010 and I know the enemy hears that and he's already starting to plot against me, but to him I say "You are DEFEATED by the power of Jesus and I WILL WIN because I am HIS!!!"

Today in my God Calling it talked about the anticipatory love of God and it compared that love to a Mother's love as she prepares a gift for her child for a birthday or for Christmas. Where do we, as Mom's learn that kind of joy? From our Father, of course!! Listen to these words from the book..."The Anticipatory Love of God is a thing mortals seldom realize. Dwell on this thought. Dismiss from your minds the thought of a grudging God, who had to petitioned with sighs and tears and much speaking before reluctantly He loosed the desired treasures. Man's thoughts of Me need revolutionizing." That's what I'm gonna do this year...revolutionize how I see God...how BIG He really is....how He's anticipating the revelation of His plans for me!!! Does that blow your mind like it does mine? God - the Creator - the Sustainer of the Universe - the Redeemer of the lost - is finding joy in revealing His plans for my life - to me!!!!! Somebody wants to say "There ain't no high like the Most High!!!" lol

So thanks for listening to my ramblings and I pray that 2010 bring revolution to how you see God as well!!!!

Storms.....

I actually love storms...at least when I'm at home, when my man and my babies are all safely tucked in with me. I don't love the ones where we're glued to the skies because tornadoes have been seen or predicted - those I could do without - but a good rattling of the house and watching the yard light up at midnight from the lightning - love it! I think it's because when I was little my PawPaw used to sit me on his lap during the storms and tell me God was bowling. (yeah I know, not very theological, but it kept his little "brown eyed huzzy" - what he called me - from being scared) The thunder was him rolling the ball and the rain fell because He's so big and His bowling ball is so heavy the clouds couldn't hold the rain in. The lightning - you guessed it - a strike! LOL Funny thing is I've tried that with my kids and they just look at me and go "Yeah right Mom". Oh the power of the PawPaw!! LOL

So, I'm in a bit of a storm right now. Some people would look at my life, the pattern of the way things have happened in it, and think that I've always been attacked following a major spiritual event. They would be right. I went to hear our preacher's wife lead an amazing women's event - it was the final night in a series she'd been doing - and that night ended up in the hospital bleeding internally and losing a baby. I went to another women's event on a Saturday at our church and my Daddy went to be with Jesus on the following Tuesday. I had been on a retreat with my Sunday school class and my brother-in-law died the following week. So, after going to Deeper Still this weekend - well, I've learned to brace myself. Life did not disappoint. Fortunately it's not anything as tragic as a death or an illness, but it's a storm for my family. Long story short, our landlord has decided to sell his house and we've got to move. Right before school starts. Special. We've had this conversation with them before and they decided to wait but this time events in their life have lead them to this decision. I don't blame them.

When you read that last paragraph some people might say "Girl, I'd stop going to those things if I was you. Every time you do something bad happens." But I say "Look how faithful the Lord has been to fill me up so that when those storms have hit - I'm READY!" And He was faithful again. Last weekend Priscilla Shirer brought the thunder with her when she taught from Eph 3:20-21. Among the many nuggets God gave me thru her was this one: When you pray, be specific. Ask God specifically for things that you want. Ask Him to specifically meet this need or that one. But then say to Him "But God if you have something better in store for me....GIVE ME THAT!!!" So that's what I'm asking Him to do. I'm asking Him for something better! I have no idea what that something better will look like - and frankly I could care less - I just want HIS something better for my life! I want Him to go BEYOND the beyond that I could ask for or imagine! That's the truth of Eph 3:20-21. His Spirit is at work in me and that power, combined with my faith in Him, combined with the pattern of faithfulness I can see in my life bring me rest! As Jesus slept on a cushion in the boat during the squall on the sea in Mark 4, so I will crawl up in my Abba Daddy's lap and rest while this storm passes by. That doesn't mean I won't see the storm, hear it or even feel it's power trying to shake me, but I will rest. I'll rest because I know who holds tomorrow and He is Faithful!!

Forgiven...

That's a hard word in this world. Forgiven. Lots of times we say we forgive people. Someone steps on your toe, "Oh, I'm sorry", "It's okay" we answer. Forgiven. Someone takes your seat at a party "Oh, I didn't know this was your seat", "Oh, that's all right" we offer up. Forgiven, but are they really? Someone talks about you behind your back, "You know I really didn't mean that" they say, "Oh, I understand" we say, but do we really? Are we willing to trust them with our secrets again? Forgiven. It's easier said than done - for most of us anyway. I know there have been people in my life that I've had a HARD time forgiving. They've done unspeakable things to me. Things that could've destroyed me - literally and figuratively.

This morning God had me in Exodus and the study I'm doing talked about "Israel's Golden Boy" and since we were in Exodus I thought - Moses. Surely we're gonna read about Moses, and of course we did, but he wasn't the 'golden boy' in this story. Today the focus was Aaron. In Ex 38 Moses is on the mountaintop quite busy with the Most High. Meanwhile, Aaron was left with "the people". They got bored, they got lonely, they got scared so they went to Aaron for help. What did the golden boy do? Gave them what they wanted. A god. A god made of gold in the shape of a calf. Strike 1. Then when baby brother returns with the "Word" what does Aaron do? Blames the people. Strike 2. They asked for his help and he gave them what they wanted. I think he could see on Moses' face that he wasn't buying it so then he tries to play it off as a miracle. "I put their gold in the fire and out popped this calf". (my paraphrase of course) Strike 3. You'd certainly think that God would be ready to move on from Aaron, don't you? I mean, maybe he'd get to herd the cattle, or maybe carry Moses' tent around for him, but no. Just a couple chapters over (40) we find God telling Moses to go get Aaron and anoint him as priest.

Say what?! Yes that's what I said. Aaron becomes priest! Not only that, but his sons, they do too! In fact "Their anointing will be to a priesthood that will continue for all generations to come." Ex 40:15b. Don't you just love that about God? Not only did He forgive Aaron, but He turned around and poured a blessing on his entire family line! Amazing!!

That my friends, is forgiveness. In my own life I can tell you that the Lord took a girl who was born into a family that served Him. A family that raised her to know, love and serve Him. However, that girl made some mistakes....just a few......THOUSAND! lol Yet He has turned my life around. He has blessed me beyond measure. He has given me a life that I surely didn't imagine I'd have. He has blessed me with a man that I adore (and adores me too, most of the time lol), with kids that couldn't be any more amazing if they even tried, with a family that I love and with friends that love on and support me every day. He has used me in the ministries He has blessed me with and that, in and of itself is a miracle!
He is faithful. He reminds me every day that I'm nothing without Him. He does it in a way that doesn't condemn me, but convinces me not to even try it on my own. He is good. He IS forgiveness!

Why.......

Why is it that bad things have to happen? I know the whole sin in the world speech but I still sometimes wonder why.
Why is it that the ones we love hurt us most? Shouldn't they be the very ones that do their best to NEVER hurt us?
Why are family dynamics so difficult to deal with? Webster's defines family as a group of persons that come from the same ancestors. Shouldn't that mean something?
This post has become very depressing hasn't it? lol. I'm really not sad this morning just shaking my head in amazement at some of the relationships in my life. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed at the things people do to one another - the things they say, the way they act - that cause pain that I just can't even imagine.
Don't get me wrong. I KNOW I've treated people I love badly. I've taken out anger on them, I've spoken hatefully to them, I've ignored them - but I can honestly say that I have been sorry for it! I can honestly say that MOST of the time it wasn't intentional. I didn't set out to hurt them. Then I have hurt after the fact.
It just amazes me how the Lord can turn a life around. I have seen in the last week, a change in some one's life that has been such a witness to those that they love! I have sat, shaking my head, at how the Lord has used their life to impact so many lives around them. Like tossing a rock into water and the ripples it makes, their life has been making ripples in the lives of the people around them that don't know the Lord. AMAZING!
Then the question that comes to my mind is....why don't they trust him too? Why don't they just turn their life over to him? Why do they continue to run, to hurt, to lose, to fight? Why? He's waiting to show them love. He's waiting to bring them peace. He's waiting to give them life. He's waiting to.......... Why don't they let Him?............
These questions were true in my own life at one time. Then finally I realized how very much I needed Him in my life. How I was never going to find the peace I was longing for apart from Him. He has changed my life. Sure, I still blow it.....daily, but He's there to pick me up, dust me off, and set me out to try it again - this time in His strength. He's there to love me. He shows it to me every day. He forgives. He is patient. He is kind. He never hurts me but corrects me when I need it - the way a Father should. He's there. Always. That makes me wonder why? Why would the Creator of the Universe, the God of Heaven, the King of all Kings do all this for me? For me?! Because He is faithful, He is loving, He is mercy, He is.........
Oh how he loves you and me.
Oh how he loves you and me.
He gave His life, what more could He give?
Oh how He loves you,
Oh how He loves me,
Oh how He loves you and me.