Storms.....

I actually love storms...at least when I'm at home, when my man and my babies are all safely tucked in with me. I don't love the ones where we're glued to the skies because tornadoes have been seen or predicted - those I could do without - but a good rattling of the house and watching the yard light up at midnight from the lightning - love it! I think it's because when I was little my PawPaw used to sit me on his lap during the storms and tell me God was bowling. (yeah I know, not very theological, but it kept his little "brown eyed huzzy" - what he called me - from being scared) The thunder was him rolling the ball and the rain fell because He's so big and His bowling ball is so heavy the clouds couldn't hold the rain in. The lightning - you guessed it - a strike! LOL Funny thing is I've tried that with my kids and they just look at me and go "Yeah right Mom". Oh the power of the PawPaw!! LOL

So, I'm in a bit of a storm right now. Some people would look at my life, the pattern of the way things have happened in it, and think that I've always been attacked following a major spiritual event. They would be right. I went to hear our preacher's wife lead an amazing women's event - it was the final night in a series she'd been doing - and that night ended up in the hospital bleeding internally and losing a baby. I went to another women's event on a Saturday at our church and my Daddy went to be with Jesus on the following Tuesday. I had been on a retreat with my Sunday school class and my brother-in-law died the following week. So, after going to Deeper Still this weekend - well, I've learned to brace myself. Life did not disappoint. Fortunately it's not anything as tragic as a death or an illness, but it's a storm for my family. Long story short, our landlord has decided to sell his house and we've got to move. Right before school starts. Special. We've had this conversation with them before and they decided to wait but this time events in their life have lead them to this decision. I don't blame them.

When you read that last paragraph some people might say "Girl, I'd stop going to those things if I was you. Every time you do something bad happens." But I say "Look how faithful the Lord has been to fill me up so that when those storms have hit - I'm READY!" And He was faithful again. Last weekend Priscilla Shirer brought the thunder with her when she taught from Eph 3:20-21. Among the many nuggets God gave me thru her was this one: When you pray, be specific. Ask God specifically for things that you want. Ask Him to specifically meet this need or that one. But then say to Him "But God if you have something better in store for me....GIVE ME THAT!!!" So that's what I'm asking Him to do. I'm asking Him for something better! I have no idea what that something better will look like - and frankly I could care less - I just want HIS something better for my life! I want Him to go BEYOND the beyond that I could ask for or imagine! That's the truth of Eph 3:20-21. His Spirit is at work in me and that power, combined with my faith in Him, combined with the pattern of faithfulness I can see in my life bring me rest! As Jesus slept on a cushion in the boat during the squall on the sea in Mark 4, so I will crawl up in my Abba Daddy's lap and rest while this storm passes by. That doesn't mean I won't see the storm, hear it or even feel it's power trying to shake me, but I will rest. I'll rest because I know who holds tomorrow and He is Faithful!!

Forgiven...

That's a hard word in this world. Forgiven. Lots of times we say we forgive people. Someone steps on your toe, "Oh, I'm sorry", "It's okay" we answer. Forgiven. Someone takes your seat at a party "Oh, I didn't know this was your seat", "Oh, that's all right" we offer up. Forgiven, but are they really? Someone talks about you behind your back, "You know I really didn't mean that" they say, "Oh, I understand" we say, but do we really? Are we willing to trust them with our secrets again? Forgiven. It's easier said than done - for most of us anyway. I know there have been people in my life that I've had a HARD time forgiving. They've done unspeakable things to me. Things that could've destroyed me - literally and figuratively.

This morning God had me in Exodus and the study I'm doing talked about "Israel's Golden Boy" and since we were in Exodus I thought - Moses. Surely we're gonna read about Moses, and of course we did, but he wasn't the 'golden boy' in this story. Today the focus was Aaron. In Ex 38 Moses is on the mountaintop quite busy with the Most High. Meanwhile, Aaron was left with "the people". They got bored, they got lonely, they got scared so they went to Aaron for help. What did the golden boy do? Gave them what they wanted. A god. A god made of gold in the shape of a calf. Strike 1. Then when baby brother returns with the "Word" what does Aaron do? Blames the people. Strike 2. They asked for his help and he gave them what they wanted. I think he could see on Moses' face that he wasn't buying it so then he tries to play it off as a miracle. "I put their gold in the fire and out popped this calf". (my paraphrase of course) Strike 3. You'd certainly think that God would be ready to move on from Aaron, don't you? I mean, maybe he'd get to herd the cattle, or maybe carry Moses' tent around for him, but no. Just a couple chapters over (40) we find God telling Moses to go get Aaron and anoint him as priest.

Say what?! Yes that's what I said. Aaron becomes priest! Not only that, but his sons, they do too! In fact "Their anointing will be to a priesthood that will continue for all generations to come." Ex 40:15b. Don't you just love that about God? Not only did He forgive Aaron, but He turned around and poured a blessing on his entire family line! Amazing!!

That my friends, is forgiveness. In my own life I can tell you that the Lord took a girl who was born into a family that served Him. A family that raised her to know, love and serve Him. However, that girl made some mistakes....just a few......THOUSAND! lol Yet He has turned my life around. He has blessed me beyond measure. He has given me a life that I surely didn't imagine I'd have. He has blessed me with a man that I adore (and adores me too, most of the time lol), with kids that couldn't be any more amazing if they even tried, with a family that I love and with friends that love on and support me every day. He has used me in the ministries He has blessed me with and that, in and of itself is a miracle!
He is faithful. He reminds me every day that I'm nothing without Him. He does it in a way that doesn't condemn me, but convinces me not to even try it on my own. He is good. He IS forgiveness!

Why.......

Why is it that bad things have to happen? I know the whole sin in the world speech but I still sometimes wonder why.
Why is it that the ones we love hurt us most? Shouldn't they be the very ones that do their best to NEVER hurt us?
Why are family dynamics so difficult to deal with? Webster's defines family as a group of persons that come from the same ancestors. Shouldn't that mean something?
This post has become very depressing hasn't it? lol. I'm really not sad this morning just shaking my head in amazement at some of the relationships in my life. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed at the things people do to one another - the things they say, the way they act - that cause pain that I just can't even imagine.
Don't get me wrong. I KNOW I've treated people I love badly. I've taken out anger on them, I've spoken hatefully to them, I've ignored them - but I can honestly say that I have been sorry for it! I can honestly say that MOST of the time it wasn't intentional. I didn't set out to hurt them. Then I have hurt after the fact.
It just amazes me how the Lord can turn a life around. I have seen in the last week, a change in some one's life that has been such a witness to those that they love! I have sat, shaking my head, at how the Lord has used their life to impact so many lives around them. Like tossing a rock into water and the ripples it makes, their life has been making ripples in the lives of the people around them that don't know the Lord. AMAZING!
Then the question that comes to my mind is....why don't they trust him too? Why don't they just turn their life over to him? Why do they continue to run, to hurt, to lose, to fight? Why? He's waiting to show them love. He's waiting to bring them peace. He's waiting to give them life. He's waiting to.......... Why don't they let Him?............
These questions were true in my own life at one time. Then finally I realized how very much I needed Him in my life. How I was never going to find the peace I was longing for apart from Him. He has changed my life. Sure, I still blow it.....daily, but He's there to pick me up, dust me off, and set me out to try it again - this time in His strength. He's there to love me. He shows it to me every day. He forgives. He is patient. He is kind. He never hurts me but corrects me when I need it - the way a Father should. He's there. Always. That makes me wonder why? Why would the Creator of the Universe, the God of Heaven, the King of all Kings do all this for me? For me?! Because He is faithful, He is loving, He is mercy, He is.........
Oh how he loves you and me.
Oh how he loves you and me.
He gave His life, what more could He give?
Oh how He loves you,
Oh how He loves me,
Oh how He loves you and me.

One Voice World Tour Stop 2!

LOL. That's what my man called last nights event!. He's our road manager. One Voice (the ladies group I sing with) sang at a Missions Festival about a 3 weeks ago and last night we sang at the Charlotte Rescue Mission and today I just can't stop smiling. It was incredible!! When I began asking the Lord which songs to sing He gave them to me immediately and I have to admit that sometimes when that happens I get a little nervous. Not that I don't trust Him, but I know myself well enough that sometimes I get in his way. This time - as He does EVERY TIME - He was faithful!!
We sang "He Reigns with Awesome God" and some of the men knew that one and they sang along and clapped and hollered! It was great! Then we sang "Orphans of God" and I think for the first time - in a very long time - I could see the entire room on the edge of their seats listening to the message that "There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God. So many fallen, but hallelujah, there are no orphans of God." Could there have been a more encouraging song for that particular group of men.....I think not! God you are so good!!
Then we sang "Shackles" and this group of ethnically diverse men were on their feet!! We loved every minute of it!! But most importantly God was glorified!!
The message that followed was just amazing and I was reminded of the amazing teachers we are blessed with at my church. I mean, it was GREAT!!! God's Word never fails!!
Over the days leading up the event I was asking God over and over to give me the right words to say to these men and to guard my mouth so that I wouldn't get lost in nervous chatter. (I tend to do that when I'm in front of people - lol) But yesterday God led me to a verse that just blew my mind. Ps 119:50 "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." I know that in that room there were men suffering. Suffering from losses. Suffering from addictions. Suffering from disappointments. Suffering. All of us are suffering and that is what the Lord was reminding me. Sure, I have a home. I have food. But I'm not that far from where they are.....none of us are really. And as I walked in that place and saw all their faces I was just overcome with the weight of suffering. But then that second line in Psalms. "Your promise preserves my life." What promise? Well, the promise that He will never leave me. The promise that He will never walk away from me. The promise that I am engraved on the palm of His hand. The promise that He knows my name. The promise that I can do all things thru His Son. And I tell ya, I was then overcome with HIM!! I was a wreck! I didn't know if I could stand up there and sing to these men, much less speak to them because I was so emotional, but my girlfriends surrounded me and we went before the throne and I could feel the Father telling me, I brought you here for a reason and don't you worry girl, I'll get you thru! AND HE DID! Not only did He get me thru, He gave me words that hopefully touched someone and I know it made them smile.....what more could I ask?
So today, I'm so overwhelmed again. I'm overwhelmed that the Creator of the Universe, the Maker of the Stars, the God of heaven would use me. Me. I'm so grateful that He gave me this opportunity and I'm praying that He'll give me others. I'm praying that He'll use 'One Voice' to accomplish His mission of spreading His Message to this city. "You broke the chains now I can lift my hands, and I'm gonna praise You, I'm gonna praise You"!!!!

It's my BIRTHDAY!!

I'm not proud. I'll be glad to tell you it's my birthday!!! WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

God is working.......

He's still working, God is working even now. Tho' we often don't know just how, God is working, He's still working, God is working even now. LOVE me some Brooklyn Tab!!! It's so true. God is working. He's been working on me over these last weeks so much that I'm tired from it. ;-) That's the good thing tho, at least I know He cares.
There's been so many exciting things going on. We've got our annual Celebrate America program coming this weekend (it's so funny that going in this is my least favorite show but after it's over He always blesses me tremendously!), and getting ready for that with practice on SATURDAY....ugh.....We're just coming out of VBS which is always fun, but this year was a bit stressful because we had a mini "musical" in which my oldest had a part so it was studying lines, practice, etc. The ladies group I sing with, "One Voice" has been busy as well. We had the Breath of Heaven event in April, then a wedding in May (congrats Mandy!), then we sang at a Missions benefit in June and next week we're going to the Charlotte Rescue Mission to sing and we're singing at our Deacon's Wives meeting in August. whew....We're also working on a few other events (Jimmy has taken it upon himself to become our manager! lol) so if your church needs some music let me know!! We'll even travel as long as we can be fed! LOL
This is how I know God is working. I wasn't sure about the direction of this group and what we should be doing so I began praying for the Lord to either close the door for us or to swing it wide and well.....He is faithful!
Also, there are exciting things coming with STMM. The conference in Sept is starting to sell tickets, but we can always use more. If you wanna travel to - or if you live in - the Southern Ill area in Sept then check it out. Here's a link. It's gonna be great and we're praying the Lord will send people, the people of His choosing, to hear a Word!! BTW did I mention that Travis Cottrell will be leading worship. OH YES THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!! ;-) If you can't come would you please be in prayer for this conference? We will most certainly appreciate it.
So, here it is summer, the months of slacking (as if), and we're slamming! I have to admit, I LOVE it!! Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!! and if you don't know what tomorrow is, then shame on you! lol JK! I don't know what my plans are, but who cares! I'm alive another year, I'm (relatively) healthy, I'm in love with the most amazing man God could've chosen for me, my kids are happy and healthy and I have a circle of friends who love me, challenge me and lift me up. What more could a girl ask for? Million dollars maybe?.....lol If I had a million you can slap guarantee I'd be getting 365 pairs of shoes - one for each day of the year! LOL Sad, I know.

For my brother......

Jeff, it's quite possible that you won't see this post, but my prayer is that you will! I just wanted to say Happy Birthday and that I love you! I can't begin to imagine how hard it was growing up with 3 sisters but you have to know that you were/are our hero! You've protected us, loved us, made fun of us (Bubble 2 - lol), picked on us, fought for us, helped us and just been there for us and I know it wasn't always easy, or even what you WANTED to do, but you did it.
I hope your birthday is a great one and I hope that you don't start to fall apart now that you're 50!!!!!!!!lol

Love you!
BiKay