Monday, December 31, 2007

God is great is 2008!!

Ok, I know it's corny, but at least it rhymes!! hahaha

Let me start with a few quick comments about my weekend. It was an AWESOME time!! Jimmy hasn't been happier and slept like a log with all his "babies" under one roof!! The kids had such a great time together and so many times I found myself just sitting back, watching and often moved to tears at how good God has been to me! To give me such an AMAZING man, 3 INCREDIBLE kids that I adore and to be stepmom - and now mother-in-law - to these kids who have grown up to be so WONDERFUL! My stepson is the youth pastor at his church, my daughter-in-law works as the secretary over the maintenance dept at their church and my stepdaughter is a Junior in high school and co-captain of the cheerleaders at her Christian school. She has also started a Bible study night with the squad. AMAZING! Kids thrown into the drama of divorce at such a young age, now grown and serving the Lord! THAT is a testimony of the power of God!!!

Ok, so with 2008 breathing down our necks and this being my last post of the year, I wanted to just share a few things the Lord has been speaking to me about. First, is His faithfulness and I think the above paragraph kinda explains that!! Second is His provision. God equips us for whatever He calls us to do. Sounds simple, because it IS simple! Lately He's been showing me that I am the one who makes that process difficult. I mess up His plans with my unbelief! He lays things out, opens doors for me and then I sit here going, "Are you sure?" "You really don't mean that for me, do you?" "I am certainly not equipped for THAT!". Rev. Airton Pupo, our Brazilian church minister spoke at church last night on Mark 6 where Jesus returned to Nazareth but the people there "blew it" with their unbelief. They didn't stop Jesus' power but "He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them." Mk 6:5. It's not that he "couldn't" do it, He is after all God, it's that their unbelief caused the consequence of His "limited" power. It's like Jesus held back miracles in their lives because they refused to just believe. That hit me like a ton of bricks! In my notes last night I wrote "How many times has Jesus been amazed at my lack of faith?".

Thirdly, this morning my "God Calling" was titled "Jesus the Conqueror" and here's a line or two or three! haha "'Thou shall call His name Jesus, for He shall save His people from their sins.' And in that word "sins" read not only vice and degradation, but doubts, fears, tempers, despondencies, impatience, lack of Love in big and little things. Jesus. 'He shall save His people from their sins.' The very uttering of the name lifts the soul away from petty valley-irritations to mountain heights. Jesus. Say it often. Claim the power it brings." Is that good stuff or what? Then my devotional reading this morning was all about worry. “Worry” literally means “to be pulled in different directions”. The old English root from which we get our word “worry” means “to strangle”. Worry literally strangles our peace and honestly, has no place in the hearts of women.
· Worry is a control issue.
· Worry is wasted energy.
· Worry is consuming and unhealthy.
· Worry is a joy thief.
· Worry is the interest that we pay today on tomorrow’s problems.
· Worry is practicing atheism. (OUCH!)
· Worry makes everything seem bigger than it really is!

When we choose to trust God, we are choosing against worry. Isaiah’s prayer of faith should be our prayer as well. “You, Lord, give true peace. You give peace to those who depend on you. You give peace to those who trust you.” (Isaiah 26:3 ICB) It is simple. God rewards our trust with His peace. How is must hurt the heart of God to see His children caught in the trap of negative attitudes when His plan is a peaceful mind-set. We will never minister in freedom and power until we consistently choose against worry and deliberately choose to trust God alone. " (these words came from Mary Southerland)

This weekend while window shopping with my 3 daughters we saw a sign that said "Don't change the way you look, change the way you see." If I could sum up 2007 with one sentence that would be it. God changed the way I look to the way I see! In 2008 I do not want to make a list of resolutions that I'll break the first week and spend the rest of the year beating myself up over, but I will simply see. I will do my best to see with the eyes of God. To see that it's NOT about me! To see that I am responsible to take care of my temple, but it's not about how fat or skinny I am, or my hair color, or my newly found wrinkles. To see that it's NOT about what people think of me, or if my clothes are "in" or if my shoes are old (and believe me THAT one is a struggle for me cause I LOVE me some shoes! haha). To see that what my year is about is telling others about Jesus. About showing Jesus to my kids. About showing Jesus to my friends. About loving the way Jesus loves! My prayer for 2008 is that God will show Himself greatly in me, in my life and in the lives of all the ones that I love!!!

Ya'll be safe tonight and I'll see ya next year!!!!
Sing it with me now.... After all it's all about love, love, love, love, LOVE!!!

Friday, December 28, 2007


Jimmy's Christmas Surprise! My stepson JV (2nd from rt), his wife Charlotta (rt) and my stepdaughter Cassie (2nd from lt) came in Thur. night and dad had NO CLUE!!!! This is our crew!!! Happy holidays!!! I'll blog more later but now I'm lovin' havin' all my kids under one roof!!! Love to all!!!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Here we go.....

Busy, busy, busy! You'd think that since Christmas has come and gone I wouldn't be saying those words, but the fun is just beginning at the E Ranch! I can't go in to much detail as my man ventures on here once in a while to read, but I have a HUGE surprise in store for him this weekend!!!

I'm busy today preparing my house for the days to come. I wish I could take the time to apply that sentence to my spiritual life, but I really must get with it. I promise to come back in a day or two and share the surprise with each of you! Who knows, maybe I'll even post a picture!!! (start prayin' now since I'm so techno-challenged!)

Love to all and I pray your Christmas was so full of Christ's joy that you were about to bust!!! I know I sure was!!!!

Monday, December 24, 2007

The Reason....

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. May we all stop and celebrate the birth of Jesus and love...

Friday, December 21, 2007

200th POST!!!!!!!!

Can't believe it's #200! Thought I'd share this AWESOME song as we celebrate this Holy season and what it's REALLY all about!!!!

Clash of the Choirs

Did anyone else watch this show? Being a singer you know I was going to! This was my favorite choir because they didn't sing everything in unison, but like a choir!! Thanks NBC for a refreshing breeze from all the JUNK we usually get on TV!!!!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Unfailing love...

My, my, my, Abba Daddy, you sure have been layin' it on me this week!! I thank you for loving me enough to speak to me!! You are amazing!

Oh yeah, I forgot ya'll are reading this too! haha I've been doing the Romans study online by Beth Moore. I'll be honest that it has been QUITE heavy at times so I took a couple of weeks off. I needed some time to process it all. It's funny because I never really thought I was one of "those" people. I used to think that I either got it or I didn't and then move on. Maybe that explains alot!! OUCH!!

So anyway, we're on week 21 - yes I said week 21 - and guess where we are? Romans 5:1-8!!!! See why I needed a break?! She started this back in June and I doubled up some to get caught up but land sakes ya'll - GOOD STUFF!!! WHOA! So this week I've been talking with a friend about how much our earthly dad's represented God to us in our lives. DEEEEEEP stuff! So yesterday I sit down and we're on these precious verses in chapter 5. Ya'll know how Beth does things. She'll take either a word or a phrase and give you such a fresh insight that you'll truly believe those words were NOT in your Bible before! Even if they're underlined, highlighted and everything else! (Ok, I know it's God doing that, NOT Beth, but ya'll know what I meant, right?!) So I'll just share a few of the notes I took instead of trying to tell you everything.

"We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand." Rom 5:1b-2 Consider that grace is more than just a gift from God or something God does but grace is a physical place. A wide open spacious place! How different could my life be if I could stand in grace? How different could my relationships be if I could choose to stand in the place of grace? Where do I go when the enemy tries to squeeze me into a corner of fear, depression or hurt? I go stand in the openness of grace! See what I mean ya'll, GOOD STUFF!

Here's where it really gets good! Rom 5:5"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Ok. She give us Four Confessions of Divine Affection - in other words four things we can know FOR SURE about God's love.
1 - God is PERFECT love.
2 - Nothing can separate me from God's love.
3 - God pours His perfect love into my imperfect heart.
4 - When accessed, (God's perfect love) I can love anyone thru anything!!
Ok, ya'll, I'm so excited about this that I can barely get my fingers to move fast enough! Ya'll remember this is from Beth Moore it's not mine! (don't want any credit for this!) Love isn't something God does or feels and circumstances or behaviors don't affect it - It's part of WHO HE IS! It's His Divine DNA! There can never be anything big enough or anything bad enough that I do to change that about God! I was NEVER good enough to do something BAD ENOUGH to mess up God's love for me! Does anyone else get that?! I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH GOD'S LOVE!!! I can't change it, I can't be worthy of it, I can't control it! It's WHO HE IS!!!! Somebody wants to shout!! YYAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOO-JAH!!!

Ok, Prov. 19:22a says "What a man desires is unfailing love". Now what was #1? God is PERFECT (unfailing)love. So since God is the ONLY ONE capable of giving me what I desire most - unfailing, perfect love - why can't I let some of the people in my life off the hook?! Ok, go back and read that again! Really, do it!!! My HUSBAND will never give me unfailing, perfect love! My PARENTS (remember the conversation I'd been having with my friend this week - WOOOOOHOOOO) will never give me unfailing, perfect love!! My KIDS will never give me unfailing, perfect love! No human being anywhere on this planet will EVER be able to give me what my heart desires MOST!!! That job is left SOLELY to the One who "demonstrates his own love for me(us) in this: While I(we) was(were) still a sinner(s), Christ died for me(us)." Hold on ya'll, gotta go run a praise lap!!!!!..........

Here's one of the last things I'll leave with you. I'll quote Beth here "We will never love well if we do not feel well loved." I can't love my man, my kids, my family, my friends, anyone well unless I get it thru my thick skull that while I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me to show my unlovable self how much God the Father agape's me!!!! How much He agape's you!!!! All He asks is to love Him in return and to love my neighbor as myself! And not just say "Oh, love ya in Jesus" but to love them even if it's a sacrifice to myself. In fact, there's no greater offering to the Father than to love someone who is unlovable. After's what He did for me!!!

Ok, gotta go run some more......

(Forgot one thing first, I didn't mention that the title to my God Calling yesterday morning was "Perfect Love" NO LIE!!! I read that BEFORE I listened to the study! Then today's title was "Depression" and I'll share a few lines with you. "Depression is the impression left by fear. Fight and conquer, and Oh! for Love of Me, for the sake of My tender, never-failing Love of you, fight and love and win." Does that kill you?! I just love God-stops in my life!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Serious business

***Just a quick update on my mom. So far, all of her test have come back normal - thank you Jesus - but they're still having difficulty controlling her BP and with her history of stroke they're reluctant to let her go home. Your prayers have been answered and I thank you for each of them, however please pray for wisdom for the Dr.'s as they change and adjust her meds. Thanks!!

My devotion this morning led me to James 4:8. Here's what the NIV says. "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." Ouch. Double-minded. However, I looked at The Message translation and listen to this. "So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." WHOA!!! The fun and games are over!!! Get serious, really serious!! OUCH!!

I think about things I've taken seriously in my life. I'm not proud to say that college wasn't one of them. I did what I had to do to get by. Now, when I went to work and actual people were in my care, THEN I took what I learned seriously. I applied the things I learned to those people I was caring for. I think about preparing for motherhood. Girl, I read every book out there. I thought that this was something I had REALLY get prepared for and since I'd learned thru my college days what a struggle it was for me to apply the things I didn't take seriously in the classroom I studied!!! I remember thinking as I checked in to the hospital to be induced with my first son, 'I AM READY'!!! (ok all you mothers better stop laughing right now, you know you did the same thing!! haha) Not 26 hours later (yes I was in labor for 26 hours!) I was lying on that hospital bed with my son in the crib beside me and we both were crying! I had no idea what I was doing! I was T-TOTALLY unprepared for this! Those books didn't know what they were talking about! Can I get a witness?! haha

Anyway, after they kicked me out of that hospital - and believe me I went kicking and screaming - I realized this was IT! I had no choice. It was time to grow up, put on my big girl panties, and get serious!! (hope that didn't offend anyone! haha) I was a medical assistant with a family practice. I was the go to girl that new mom's called with their 10,000,000 questions. I was the one who gave advice to them, yet as I held this amazing little boy in my arms, I HAD NO CLUE!!! (My hubby still laughs about that one!)

So I think about my walk with God. How many years did I do what I had to do just to get by? How long did I take Him for granted? How often did I open the Word just to check it off my to-do list? OUCH! The fun and games are over, get serious, really serious! I'm so glad that I did hit bottom, not to say I won't ever go there again, but I PRAY now that he'll keep me from that. In fact, my God Calling (I know, here I go again with that book! haha) this morning reminded me that "the powers of evil watch you as a besieging force would watch a guarded city - the object being always to find some weak spot, attack that, and so gain an entrance. So evil lurks around you, and seeks to surprise you in some fear. The fear my have been but a small one, but it affords evil a weak spot of attack and entrance and then in come rushing despondency, doubt of Me, and so many other sins." Does that sound serious to you? Sure does to me!

In The Message James says "Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field." Sweet sisters, I love each of you who have popped onto this blog, but if you're not already, it's time to get serious! It's time to quit playing the field, quit being double-minded and really get serious! I can't tell you how my life has changed! It seemed for so long I lived from tragedy to tragedy, drama to drama, and now...peace, joy, hope and yes, calm! In the midst of a 10, 8 and 5 year old, calm. (on the inside anyway! haha) In the midst of my mom in the hospital and not being able to get to her to know what's happening, peace. In the midst of job insecurities, joy. That's serious business sweet friends!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

One Touch - Great Faith!

Give me one moment in time....

Ya'll remember that Whitney Houston song don't you? I was reading about the woman who had been "subject to bleeding for twelve years" in Mark today and this song just popped into my head. Then my sweet friend Tracy sent me an email that got me thinking about a significant moment in time in my life.

First, let's talk about our sweet sister who had her "issue". I have thyroid disease so I have some female issues that have made me want to scream at times. However, 12 years!!! Think about that 12 stinkin' years!!! All I can say is she must have the biggest mansion on her block in heaven!!! I would likely be in prison for either murder or attempted murder - 12 years!!!!! So I guess it goes without saying that this sister was DESPERATE! The Word says in Mark 5:26 "She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse." Luke, a Dr. himself, even went so far as to say "but no one could heal her" (Lk 8:43b) This woman had seen lots of Dr's. She'd likely tried every remedy known at that time. I'll bet she even did crazy things like drinking a tablespoon of vinegar every day (have you ever?). I know if I were in her shoes, I certainly would. Yet, she hears of Jesus coming thru her town and I'll bet she thought "THIS IS IT"! I've tried everything else! What do I have to lose?" Mark says that when she heard Jesus was coming she thought "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Now, that's some faith. I'm sure she'd heard of all the other miracles He'd performed and it's obvious she believed them so she thought all I need is a moment. All I need is to get close enough. He won't need to stop and talk to me. He won't need to know how love I've suffered. He won't need to know how much money I've spent and everything I've tried. I just need a moment.

Put yourself in her shoes. Desperate. Tired. Broken. She sees Him coming and the crowd presses in. She tries, but misses, she reaches but someone pushes, then finally it happens...she stretches as far as she can and touches His cloak. Not even a handful of it, just the edge and IMMEDIATELY she is healed! One touch! One precious moment in time! Her life was RADICALLY changed forever!!! She would NEVER be the same!!!!

This story has always been precious to me. The desperation of the woman, the power of Jesus, the compassion He showed her when He called her out. The love He showed her when he said "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." Immediately she was healed and immediately He knew! He knew her suffering. He knew her desperation. When He asked "Who touched my clothes?" it wasn't that His omnipotence left Him for a minute, He just wanted her to have enough faith to step out of the crowd and say "It was me".

Her faith created a moment in time in her life that changed EVERYTHING! God has been gracious enough to give me a few of those moments as well. No, I didn't have a 12 year medical problem, but mine was a lifelong mental/emotional problem. I've been desperate. Broken. Tired. I've felt that I had no hope. Praise His name that every time I was in those places He's called me out! He's sent His power to save me, to restore me, to heal me! My life has been RADICALLY changed! He has given me the words "Daughter, go in peace"! During this Holy season I pray you'll take some time to reflect on God's goodness to you. His mercy and grace. That you'll open your heart completely to Him, let Him heal your heart and say "Daughter, go in peace" to you as well!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Update on my mom...

Just wanted to pop on to let you know that prayers have been answered. My mom's MRI was normal so no stroke!! They're checking her carotids to see if she has an oxygen/blood deficiency in her brain. If all is clear then we'll know that all of this came from the multiple medications her Dr. has her on. Thanks for your prayers.

What now.......

What a weekend. Friday and Saturday morning were just JAM PACKED with running and going but the Sat. afternoon we just hung out together, watched a few movies, got ready for church. Just spent some much needed calm time together. (As calm as you can be with 3 active little people!) It was just what my family needed. It was just what I needed. Thank you God for "down time"!

So today I sit in anticipation of what God is doing in me. I told you all a while back that I had approached our music minister's wife about a Bible study and she was TOTALLY on board for that, THEN she had her huge accident and I felt God was saying, not yet. Well He hasn't really left me alone about it. I've prayed for discernment, I've prayed for His leading and He keeps saying "So what now? What are you waiting for? Don't you trust me?" So I had the staff of the music dept. send out an email and lay out a sign up sheet to see how many women might even be interested. That's a HUGE step for me. I'm no teacher! I'm just a girl who loves Jesus and wants my sister's to love Him and dive into His Word along with me. I have nothing of value to teach them, only to share how God is working and has worked in my life and hopefully help someone. Also, hope that THEY will help me with their lives! So with the holiday season attendance at church was WAAAYYYY down yesterday. Charlotte is full of people with family "elsewhere" so it seems during holidays we have a ton of folks going. At least that's what I hope it is. With that said, we've had 2 ladies sign up yesterday!!! I was SOOOOOO excited! Sure, I'd like it to be 52, but in reality there weren't even 52 people in the choir loft in one of our services!! Besides, I'm not in this for the "masses"! I'm in this for the ministry. For relationships!! With each other but mostly with Jesus!!!!

So pray that God will lead the women He wants to this study and that if I am truly the one to lead - which I still can't believe - that He'll move in me to do His work!!

One other mom went to the hospital Sat. night and we're waiting for test results to see if she's had another stroke. Please keep her in your prayers and my family as well as we deal with this during this season. Thanks and I'll keep you posted.

Friday, December 14, 2007

S U R P R I S E!!!!!

Do you like surprises or are you one of those "need to know" people? I think I fall smack in the middle! Most times I'm a need to know kinda gal, but an occasional surprise get my juices flowing! I love the rush of being surprised but I also love the rush of anticipation for anothers' surprise. What I don't enjoy is pretending to be surprised when I know what's coming! As my Chase says "Awkward!"

In my life there's been lots of GREAT surprises - 2 of which I call Joshua and Kayley! haha There's also been some HORRIFIC surprises (but we're not gonna talk about those today) In this holiday season there's a lot of surprises. Anticipation of what's in that GINORMOUS box under the tree (not that there's ANYTHING under my tree - but you get the idea), the wonder of who may come to visit, the anticipation of watching someone you love open that SPECIAL gift! Surprises! Last night I had one of the sweet joy's of anticipation for my sweet Josh. His school "WINTER" program (don't get me started with the political correctness) was last night and Josh had a small speaking part. He's been so excited to be chosen. I've been so excited for him because of all my kids, he's the shy one! As we're in the car on the way there I asked him if he wanted to go over the lines one more time and he said, "No, mom, I'm good, but I do have the butterflies." My momma heart skipped a beat!! As a "performer" it just made my heart sing to know my baby had the jitters! Is that bizarre or what? I almost started crying! haha I did reassure him that he would do great and then prayed for him when we got to the parking lot. (He would DIE if I did it in front of anyone! haha)

I'm also sitting on a few surprises for others in my family. Not just gifts but other things! NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!!! Like I said before - HORRIFIC surprise! haha I've just got a few things planned that are hopefully going to make this season special.

So as I think about the surprises of life, the good and the bad, I'm so glad to know that as I place my trust in Christ I don't HAVE to be anxious (although I admit that I fail there sometimes). Also that are things I can anticipate! I anticipate the day my Josh and Kayley ask Jesus in their hearts. I anticipate the day my brother and my oldest sister start walking with Jesus EVERY day! I anticipate Christs' return! The ULTIMATE surprise for all believers!!!!!!!! Can you hardly wait for that day? I mean looking into Jesus' face?! I don't think this will really happen, but go with me for the purpose of my topic today - the day Christ calls "SURPRISE" to His bride!! OH I CAN HARDLY STAND THE ANTICIPATION OF IT!!!!! My prayer is you and yours and mine too are ready!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I Just Wanna Praise Him.....

After sharing my attempt at self-destruction yesterday it really got me thinking about my life. As I sat remembering some of that stuff and BELIEVE me, I left out a WHOLE lot of stuff, I just couldn't help but fall on my face in thanks to God. Ya'll, if there's ever been someone who's been delivered - it's me! I am a living testimony that God can bring you OUT! He can bring you out of the deepest pit you've either gotten yourself into or you've gotten thrown into.

This morning my "God Calling" (are ya'll about sick of hearing about that book? TOUGH! HAHA) was titled "Perpetual Guidance". FOR REAL! Dec 14th. That's the title! Here's a couple of lines. "The Joy of Perpetual Guidance. The joy of knowing that every detail of your lives is planned by Me, but planned with a wealth of tenderness and Love." Can you stinkin' believe that? I just said that yesterday - and NO I don't read ahead!! His Hand was working thru every stupid, idiotic situation I got myself into. His Hand is still working thru every single thing I do! Here's more. "The thought of this loving leading should give you great joy. All the responsibility of life taken off your shoulders." THAT MAKES ME WANNA RUN SOME LAPS YA'LL!!! YAHOO-JAH!!!

I don't want to put things on this blog for ANYONE to go - wow Valarie, that's great! What I want is for you to go "Wow God, you're so great to do that for her!" Because He is so great!!!!!!! Gonna be a crazy day today, but I'm gonna "Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance, I just wanna praise You!"!!!!! Go ahead, you know you wanna sing it too!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Challenge

Well ya'll it looks like my friend Lucy laid out a challenge today. It's a tad on the scary side to open myself wide open, but you know what, I trust God. I trust that He'll work whatever comes of this for my good! He's BIGGER!

So today I'm going to share a bit of my testimony. Like she said, I'll write about what I know. I don't know much, but I do know that God has worked in my life, my ENTIRE life, to bring me to "such a time as this." I don't DARE compare myself with the brave Esther - NOT IN THE LEAST - but it is a great line, don't you think? teeehee

I was born and raised in church. Literally, my dad was the music director and my mom in the choir, they were also young single adult Sunday school teachers - which meant there were ALWAYS people at my house. My mom missed church the Sunday after I was born and at not quite 2 weeks old I was back in church. I'd love to tell you that I've been there serving God ever since, but that wasn't His plan for me.

I prayed to receive Christ while my dad was "touring" with his quartet at a church in Ohio. I was 12 years old and remember the prick of the Holy Spirit on my heart that night as I realized that I would spend eternity in hell without Jesus in my life. Again, I'd like to say we started a loving relationship and I rode off into the sunset with my Savior, but again, NOT the plan. I was always a bit more "developed" shall we say than most the girls my age. Also, growing up in a house full of young adults (literally they were at our house 5 of 7 nights), young MALE adults I grew up really quick. I don't have a horror story, it wasn't that I was abused or anything, but things happened and were said to me that if I EVER hear anyone say to my daughter they will get their block knocked off! Can I get a witness on that one?

So growing up receiving a lot of attention from those boys and from boys at school (not because I was pretty - just "DEVELOPED" if you get my meaning) I began to thrive on that attention. My parents were very busy at church. Sometimes too busy to notice things going on with me, so I got whatever attention I could from whomever would pay it to me. By high school, I had a serious boyfriend and thought for sure he would be the father of my children! PRAISE GOD for His plan!! WHEW! Anyway, by my 1st yr of college that "love of my life" broke up with me and shortly after that I found out that my dad had been involved with a woman at our church. Big ugly affair followed by my heart being ripped out by this boy. Instead of looking to Jesus to love me, I instead blamed Him for ruining my life and began running as far from Him as I could.

I won't go into all the sordid details, because I'm sure most of you get the idea, but there were drugs, lots of them, alcohol, lots and lots of it, promiscuity, basically, any way I could destroy myself - I tried it. I even attempted suicide during a time when I just wanted to hurt those who had hurt me. I had moved to Florida to live with my sister and to get as far away from my parents and our church as possible and so that I could live HOWEVER I wanted to! The thing that in hindesight gives me such assurance of God's hand on me is His protection during all this. Also, that even sitting in a bar surrounded by all that "stuff" I KNEW I didn't belong there. I clearly remember being wasted and praying that Jesus wouldn't come back with me there in that place. The Holy Spirit was working on me even when I was doing all I could to shut him out! After several years of this destruction I awoke one Sunday morning with one of the WORST hangover's ever, I looked at myself in the mirror and I CLEARLY heard the Lord say to me "My daughter, this IS NOT who you are!" "Come back to me, before it's too late." I IMMEDIATELY got in my car and drove to the nearest church.

God sent me to a church with a family - sorta like mine - that served young adults. I joined their Sunday school class, began attending their Monday night youth group meetings, moved in with them to get away from the "party" atmosphere I was living in and surrendered the reigns of my life back to God. I told Him I was sorry for driving the train of my life COMPLETELY off the track and He picked me up, dusted me off, and put me back on His track for my life! Now, I'd like to say at this point we rode off to our sunset, however, the enemy was NOT happy with my choice. I moved back to WV to try to restore my relationship with my parents and God led me to the TRUE love of my life - Jimmy! His grace to me in the gift of Jimmy is - well, truly AMAZING!

Jimmy and I have gone thru some very difficult times. We've been driven to our knees because we REFUSED to bend them. However, I can tell you that at this point in my life I am on the WILDEST high I've ever been on! There's no drugs or no alcohol that can even come close and believe me I KNOW what I'm talkin' about on that one!! God is my salvation. He is my hero! He is my redeemer! He is my rescuer! He has restored me from the time of the locusts! He has led me beside still waters and thru the valley of death! He has taught me and brought me by his love! Ya'll, God is real! God is alive and well! God is in control! His ways are by no means my ways and I would LOVE to have a testimony that is "squeaky clean" and not the one that I have, but again, it wasn't HIS PLAN for me! He brought me thru the things He did to use me now. I don't know exactly how or why or when, but all I do know is that I'll NEVER turn back! I'll NEVER go it alone! Been there, done that and made a WRECK of my life! Praise His name for His faithful love!

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will NEVER be shaken." Ps 62:1-2

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


Have any of you ever done a Denise Glenn Motherwise study? I came across the "Freedom for Mothers" and was going to do it but wondered if anyone had any input. Let me know...Thanks.

These times....

I'm sure by now you have all heard about the shooting in Colorado Springs. You hear about these things happening and it seems unreal. It seems like it's only happening in 3rd world countries. Not here. Not in the 'land of the free and home of the brave'. YEAH RIGHT! Why not here? Are we free? Are we brave?

These times have me thinking. Thinking that I want to be sure that all my family and all my friends know Jesus. Not just know Him, but have a love affair with Him. Sometimes I think God uses stuff like this to give us (me) a little wake up call. The REALLY weird thing is that Sunday night - I had no idea about Colorado - we were singing our final show and these 2 guys walked into the sanctuary about 1/3 of the way thru. Now, since we had so much of the "community" in our halls these guys just didn't look like "frequent" church-goers. Now, don't go gettin' huffy with me, I AM NOT judging anyone by their appearance, but it was the first time I'd ever seen an actual mohawk in my church. Ok, enough of that. You hopefully get where I'm coming from.

Anyway, as they came in I began to pray that the Lord would make them stay for the whole show and would move in their hearts if they weren't already His. IMMEDIATELY after that the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray for the safety of our church. Now, again, DON'T GO GETTIN' HUFFY! I'm in no way implying that I was afraid of these guys - I'm just telling you what the Spirit told me to do. So I did. I prayed for the safety of our entire campus. I prayed for God to thwart any plans the evil one had to shake our security. I just prayed. (all this while singing - yes, I'm a multi-tasker) When I looked back for mohawk-man and his side kick I couldn't find them. Weird. Don't have a clue if they stayed or left and I think God didn't want me to know. He just wanted me to trust Him to take care of them and of me!

So, today my heart is heavy for the folks at New Life. That church has been thru a lot in the last few years! Nothing worse than the press dragging your past into the real issue! BUGS ME!! Anyway, just pray for them. Here's an even more bizarre twist on the whole thing. The pastor, Brady Boyd and his wife Pam used to live in Dallas, before they came to New Life. Pam led a Bible Study every Tues morning for over a year which my best friend in the whole world, Kelley, attended! Kelley tells me that Pam would ask her whenever they got in touch about my sister and her kids because she was praying for them during their difficult times. So, I email Pam today to tell her who I was and to tell her I was praying for her and she immediately remembers my story and instead of telling about their tragedy begins to ask about Regina, Rachel and J.R. AMAZING! God wants His family to know, love and encourage each other! That's what we're here for!

So I ask that you all lift up the Boyd's and lift up the New Life family as they deal with this horrific tragedy! Thanks.

PS. Pray for Jennifer Hamrick too. Tony and Joleen Hyatt's daughter. She attends that church but had decided to stay home since there was so much snow and Matt had just left the week before for Iraq. Pray for Matt's safety and his swift return. You can read their story at

Monday, December 10, 2007

God's calling...again

Ya'll, I'm sure you are just about sick and tired of hearing about my "God Calling" book, but I just about can't hardly help myself! It blows my ever-lovin' mind that the Creator of the Universe. The one who spoke the worlds into existance can speak to ME every stinkin' day, as long as I take the time to hear it! BLOWS MY MIND I TELL YA!!!!

Ok, let me tell you about the CCE. It was busy, crowded and just WONDERFUL! My kids sang this year and this was the 1st time I had all 3 of them in the program and it did this momma's heart proud to see them up there saying this wasn't "Just Another Holiday"! Land sakes, I get misty just typin about it! There was a TON of "community" folks there and not so much our regular church crowd - which is the WHOLE POINT!!!! It was just great to see so many new faces and so many people stopped to tell me how much they enjoyed it and how great it was that our church would reach out to the community and to smaller churches who can't "budget" that kind of event. AWESOME, GOD work this weekend!! LOVE it!

Now, to this morning. Needless to say, I'm TOTALLY exhausted! I mean, after my kids went to school - 30 minutes late - Jimmy and I went back to sleep for another hour! He didn't have to go to work til 1 today so we just took it easy this morning. But before that I opened up my "God Calling" and what was the topic for today "The Quiet Time". It was talking about simply resting in God. That sometimes God just wants us to come to Him, to sit and be quiet. Sometimes He's quiet too and it doesn't mean there's a problem - it's just that He wants us quiet and secure in His Presence - just to be with Him.

So, I got out my Sword, opened it up and went to Hebrews 4. The beginning of this chapter is about rest. It's about resting in obedience to God and about those that will refuse to rest in their disobedience. Then I found it no small coincidence that smack in the middle of that chapter lies a gem about the Word of God being alive and active. Resting isn't laziness. Resting is quietness of spirit allowing the "double-edged sword" to penetrate, divide and judge. That blows my mind! Sure, at times we need physical rest, but more often than not, what we need is some rest of spirit after some work of the living, active, Sword of God's Word! Spend some time in it today, sista's! IT WILL NOT DISAPPOINT!!!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Weekend worship

Is anyone else gettin' kinda tired of Christmas music? It's great, but it's been on since BEFORE Thanksgiving and I need some praise!!!! ENJOY!

Thursday, December 6, 2007


Good morning. Just a couple of quick updates. My friend whose wife is in the hospital in another country is stable - she had a minor procedure done (how scary is that?) and is going to be able to come home with the team instead of being Medijet'd back. (How's that grammar workin' for ya? haha) Thanks for your prayers.

Also, my friends who are battling colds are hangin' in! GOD IS GOOD!

I'm doing better and not freakin' out like I was earlier this week. We had some "bumps" with my group that's singing, but God was/is BIGGER and everything is good! I'm excited for the weekend, though it's gonna be busy! My prayer is that LOST people will come and meet Jesus there. That they will see Him in those of us who are working for Him. That we will show them something that they will WANT and not something they want to get away from!! I'm anxiously waiting for Him to show up and show off!!!!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Much prayer needed....

Hey everyone. Like I said, WILD WEEK is here and the enemy is busy at work!

Please be in prayer not just for me but for the Charlotte Christmas Experience at our church. The enemy knows what's coming and he's doing his best to distract but I know that GOD IS BIGGER!!! Last year a man brought his mother with him who was visiting from Iran. Yes, she was Muslim. She came - begrudgingly - and didn't talk too much about it. Later in the year she became very ill. Her son went to visit her and while she was in the hospital began to question the "religion" she had practiced her whole life and began wondering about this Jesus she had heard about on her trip to Charlotte. The enemy lost one that day and so he knows we're doing our best to tell them so he's attacking.

Sunday at choir practice one of our sweet ladies became very ill and had to be transported via ambulance to the hospital right in the middle of practice. We're trying some new things with our sound system and the enemy sees this as another distraction. Another of our soloists' wife is on a mission trip this week and has been hospitalized there due to a rapid heart beat. Several of my friends are coming down with colds (several of which are soloists). So, you get the point. What we need is PRAYER!!

God is greater than illnesses! God is greater than sound systems! God is greater than any distraction the enemy has planned so please join me as we pray for the God to thwart whatever plans the evil one has!! This is a season of celebration!! We will celebrate!! We will rejoice!! Glory to the newborn King!!!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Weekend Worship

Lord be my shield this week!! You are my shelter, my strong tower and my help in THIS time of need! I love you Lord and I will bless your name forever!!!


Thursday, November 29, 2007


Well I had me some church yesterday right here in my bedroom!! I've been listening to Beth's Romans study online and I've caught up thru Oct. 8th. She started on June 25th (day before the NATIONAL holiday - my birthday haha) and we're only on the 3rd chapter!!! GOOD stuff! If you haven't need to!

Yesterday was a pivot point that started at vs. 32 of Chpt. 3. "BUT NOW...". From Romans 1:18 to 3:20 Paul has been "beatin' down" the people in Rome. I mean...BEATIN' DOWN!! Of course, every word applies to us too! OUCH! "But now" begins the transition from the old covenant to the new covenant in Jesus. I don't wanna give it all away, but land sakes people...GO LISTEN TO IT! Even if you don't listen to the whole series, go and listen to Oct. 8! You will shout!

So then I went to church last night and as much as I hate to say this Wed. night is starting to not be a blessing to me. ESPECIALLY this time of year! I work with the middle school choir from 5:30 to 6:15 then go to the elementary kids choir from 6:30 to 8:00pm. Now, don't get me wrong. I signed up for the job and love it -- most of the time! However, with the Charlotte Christmas Experience coming next weekend it's tough! (Would LOVE for ya'll to come if you can!!)

The next 2 weeks is going to be WILD and it all starts tomorrow night with our Sunday school Christmas party. Practice Sat, Sun, Mon, Wed and doors open Friday! SCARY!!! I'm singing with the choir, obviously, helping make sure the middle school kids are where they're supposed to be, leading the elementary kids with their "choreography" and singing with "One Voice" in the Christmas Village. WHEW...tired just from typing all that. All I can say is thank you Jesus for a man who loves it as much as I do and is willing to go and help me with MY kids!

So, pray for me during this time. My lupus tends to "act up" when I'm stressed so I'm doing my best to stay calm and to lean on the Father even more. Not sure how much posting I'll get done but I'll let you know how things are going.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" =)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Desire of my heart....

As this holy season approaches I find myself with a new found desire to love Jesus more. Not to go deeper in the Word, not to do more studies, not to serve more, just to love Jesus more. (those things will follow) I remember after losing my 1st baby telling a friend that it made me fall in love with my boys (Kayley wasn't born then) all over again. I mean, when they came into the world - well, as soon as I heard their heartbeat, really - I was taken. They had my heart. But when I saw their was pure-T LOVE!

When all my kids were born one of the first things I did was sing to them. Now, I'd like to be all "spiritual" and tell you I sang to them about Jesus but all I could sing was "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face". I sang it to all 3 of them. The song still makes my momma heart cry. (I know it's about a lover, but it can be a baby too) Don't think too bad of me, I've been singing Jesus to them ever since! haha But after losing a child, after pain, after loss, after struggle to cope, my love for them grew deeper, richer and stronger.

This season, which is so difficult for me and my family in so many ways, I find myself clinging to Jesus more and more. He's all I have! He's all I want and need! I guess it's the very difficult "stuff" that makes me love Him deeper, richer and stronger. To want more of Him. To feel His touch. To smell His breath. To hear His voice. I have loved Jesus more years than I can remember but it just amazes me that after all this time it's like I've never loved Him more. That's the way loving relationships go don't they? Deeper and more fulfilling. This song that is sung as Mary means so much to me during this season and I pray He becomes your hearts' desire too.

How could I know I would love You so,
Looking at You now my precious child?
Tiny baby boy, the Father's sweetest joy,
Given to me for a little while.

Jesus, You are all the desire of my heart.
O, I never knew this longing in my soul could be filled.
O, Jesus, You are all the desire of my heart.
And I wondered what the purpose of my life was until
Today I saw your face and softly spoke your name - Jesus.

How could He know I could walk this road
That brought me to this moment here and now?
Whatever you must do, I can promise you
His grace will hold you up someway, somehow.

Jesus, You are all the desire of my heart.
O, I never knew this longing in my soul could be filled.
O, Jesus, You are all the desire of my heart.
And I wondered what the purpose of my life was until
Today I saw your face and softly spoke your name - Jesus.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

For Holly....

Sweet sister! I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing. Know that before the foundations of this world were made the Creator - our Abba Daddy - knew that this season would come in your life! He has a plan for it. The enemy is going to do his best in the coming months to try to distract you and your husband with the worries of this situation, with the strain of it and with anything else he can think of but PLEASE remember WE WIN! HE IS DEFEATED ALREADY!!!

My husband and I have been where you are. In fact, in the last year and a half we visited that place 4 times for a total of 9 months!! The enemy did his best to try and tell me to give up. Give up on staying home with my kids and my man when he needed me the most. Give up on my marriage, there was someone more stable out there for me. Give up on my church, no one there really cared about us. Give up on God, after all HE did this to me. All I can tell you is..GOD IS IN CONTROL! He put people in my path to encourage me, He sent me to retreats (that I CERTAINLY didn't have the money for, but HE provided) to strengthen me, He provided. Girl, He provided in ways that BLEW MY MIND!! I remember once getting a check in the mail from our insurance company because we had OVERPAID our premium! HAVE YOU EVER?! I just fell onto the bed laughing at God!

These are a few passages that I flagged in my Sword during all this time. Some of them are familiar, I'm sure, but they SURE breathed fresh life into me during our battle. James 1:2-4, I Kings 8:56-60 (this is about Israel, but read it and plug your name in), Matthew 6:25-34, Isa 50:7-9 and of course just about all the Psalms. Visit that book often, sweet sister! Send your man to those verses as well!!

I'll leave you with a Psalm that I read almost daily during this time. I love you and I'll be praying for your family! Pick up your Sword, have your man pick up his Sword and prepare for battle sister! It will be won when your souls are quiet enough to keep the enemy from distracting it with the "noise" of your situation.

"My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me (like worrying over this situation). But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Holly, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore." Ps 131 (with my inserts)

Monday, November 26, 2007

Jacob's limp.

First I'll give a brief update on my holiday. It was REALLY good. There was ZERO drama with the family, ZERO fights with the little ones (they really did a great job this trip since all their cousins are much older), ZERO tears shed, except listening to my nephew talk about missing his daddy, and ZERO leftovers!!! haha God was faithful once again! As if He could be anything less. I prayed for the holiday to go smoothly, my friends prayed for my mom and I to well...just get along, I prayed for safe travel, I prayed for no drama and He answered!! He is good!

I will just ask that you pray for my sweet nephew J.R. I so often ask for you to pray for Rach but J needs it too. This time of year - especially Thanksgiving - is SOOOOOO hard on him! He always went hunting with his dad and since his death it's just tough. What throws a little salt into this still fresh wound is the fact that his grandfather has a ton of property for J to hunt on but will only allow him to come on HIS terms. Long story. His grandparents on his dad's side aren't Christians and have some "issues" let's just say. So that's a HUGE prayer request too!

So, we're doing this O.T. study and we're on the story of Jacob/Esau/Rachel/Leah/Laban. Don't you know that before I left I did my study that morning and the title was "Healing Broken Relationships". Now, don't think for one minute that wasn't a GOD-thang! I ASSURE you that it most certainly was! He was reminding me to not put that chip on my shoulder and that it's ok to have boundaries in a relationship - even with family - but it's the heart that He's most concerned with. Does He expect us to "take it" from our families? At times, yes, but often it's no. Sometimes it's for their good for us to take it - or for our own good - but sometimes it's ok for us to say "enough" - in LOVE of course and not anger.

So God wrestled with Jacob - changed his name - and left him with a limp. Here's the funny thing. Typically when there's "drama" with my family I get involved even when I'm not the target. I know. Stupid, but sometimes God has to just hit me upside this hard head of mine! Anyway, God wrestled with me all weekend before I left. I argued with Jimmy. I got annoyed with a friend. God was wrestling and I was avoiding. Finally, I wrestled back. (HE WON OF COURSE) Then all weekend I had to limp because of my hip! TRULY! Sometimes my lupus really hits hard when I travel and AS SOON as I got out of the car I started to limp. I limped all weekend and I'm still limping today. Will it be permanent? Only God knows. However, the impact of that limp wasn't lost on me this weekend. The times when comments could've caused me to "go there" my limp got worse! IT'S THE TRUTH!! God just cracks me up ya'll!!

Now please don't think I'm comparing myself to Israel, because by no stretch of the imagination am I, but God (LOVE THAT) did a work in me this weekend and I'm still just in shock from the whole thing. I'm still limping! He's so good ya'll.

Lord God, thank you for my limp. Whether I have it the rest of my days or it goes away this day, I thank you for it! I praise you for changing my name! Change it as often as it needs it!! I love you Abba Daddy and I will praise your name forever!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Give thanks....

Well I'm off today to WV. Going to my sister's to spend the holidays with the whole "brood". It's gonna be a tough weekend because Jimmy can't go with me and I just HATE being away from him - especially on holidays. My sweet friend Beth invited him to come eat with her and her family so he won't have to have a bologna sandwich. He's so awesome to let me go - with his blessing. He wants our kids to have that connection with our extended family and not miss it just because he has to work. He's so good to me!!

The Lord has been so good to me. I could spend hours telling you all the things He's done in my life, ways He's provided, prayers He's answered, protection He's given, on and on. As I approach this week I have so many things to be thankful for. My man! Can't believe he still loves me after all this time and all the junk I've put him thru!!! I'm not easy to live with ya'll. (goes back to that "drama" thing) My babies! Land sakes they make me wanna pull my hair out sometimes but I can't even imagine my life without them. They are so uniquely different but so loving, caring and down right funny! (not sure where that comes from) My family. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. JUST KIDDING! I'm anxious to spend some time with my sisters laughing in the kitchen. My brother in the other room making fun of us while we "serve" him. My mom giving directions from her spot in the dining room. Are we predictable or what?! haha

Most of all I'm thankful that God, the Creator of the heavens and earth, the Maker of the stars, the Redeemer of men chose to look on this dark heart and bara it! Change it, make it His!! I'm thankful that He loves and cares for me and gives me DAILY mercy - Hourly for that matter!!! I'm thankful that He's given me a church family that I love and an AWESOME place to serve Him. I'm thankful that He hears and answers my prayers. I'm thankful that one day He'll take me to His home and for all eternity I can say "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty"! (hang on, gotta run again...K, I'm back! haha) I'm thankful that He sustains me and cares for me. I'm thankful for the air He gives me to breathe, for the way He keeps my heart running. I'm thankful ya'll. Just thankful!! Take time this week to thank Him!

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thess 5:18

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ya'll better look out!!!

It's been a WILD day! Can't believe I'm posting this late! Getting ready to go to WV for the holiday so I've been climbing Mt. Laundry today and trying to find my son's project that he "lost"! UGH!

So, let me just tell all you "Grover's" who missed church last night...GET THE VIDEO!!!!!! Land sakes, Dr. Rummage brought it on!! He's been doing a series on Sun. nights about worship and last night was all about the continual worship we'll do in heaven. I won't even attempt to tell you about it, but if you can't get the video you can go to the site and listen to the sermon! WHEW!! Good stuff! After church I went to Dr. Rummage and told him that it was all I could do not to get up and run a couple laps around the sanctuary - or just lay down on the floor on my face!!! YA'LL, I'M NOT KIDDING!!! I even told Jimmy "I'm fixin to run" and he told me I'd better not because Dr. Rummage might throw something at me! haha Anyway, I told Dr. Rummage that and ya'll know what our little "proper" preacher said..."Well girl, next time you better take off! You know all we need is one person to get it started." So I go, "Is that my green light?" He goes "Go on girl!" So ya'll better just look out! I'm gonna take off on one side of the church and Melissa already told me that if I take off one way, she'll go the other!!! LOL!!! Can you imagine?! You know one of the deacons would either tackle us or trip us! hahahaha

Anyway, ya'll know I wouldn't do that right? (yeah right!) The ONLY reason I wouldn't is because I wouldn't want people getting caught up in the drama of it and not understand WHY I'm doing it! I just love me some Jesus ya'll! I think about what He's done for me. How He provides, how He forgives, how He loves, how He sustains, how He...I could go on and on! (Hang on, I gotta run right now!!....K I'm back! ;-)) For those who don't know me well I'm a bit on the "dramatic" side. (Nah, you say?) So it's difficult for me to comprehend that someone sitting in their seat, staring straight ahead with absolutely NO expression on their face is in a state of true worship. Don't understand it! Not saying it can't happen, but when I praise I do it from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet.

Please don't think I'm putting down anyone who's different from me. I assure you that I'm not. My sister Regina, now she has some worship but all you see is a little tear trickling down her cheek. So, I know it can and DOES happen without all the "drama" - and believe it or not, I have settled down a LOT in my old age - but still when the preacher is talking about God on the throne and the four beasts around Him CONSTANTLY saying "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty..." and the 24 elders CONSTANTLY saying "Worthy, Worthy, Worthy" well that makes me wanna run some laps!!!! So, like I said, get the video or GO LISTEN TO THE SERMON, put on your running shoes and do some laps around your house!!! I'm going to! teehee

Saturday, November 17, 2007

My Josh's favorite for Weekend Worship

I just love that my baby says "Mom, turn it up!" every time this song comes on!! Thank you Jesus!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Weekend fun...

This weekend is gonna be great! I've been busy cooking and cleaning for some girlfriends to come over this evening. I have a group of ladies I sing with at church and we're getting some Christmas music together tonight and OF COURSE we have to have food! Can't sing on an empty belly. =)

Tomorrow I've got to work an inventory at a car dealership with my man and it doesn't sound like fun (and really it's not) but having 5 or 6 hours of my man undivided attention - well you get the point! I love that man so much I'm willing to go sit in a nasty parts department and count parts. (plus we get paid for it! haha)

Sunday is worship day AND I'm going back to the Christmas show after church. Is that bad? haha I LOVE that stinkin' place! I haven't bought a thing - and I've been there twice - but Sunday I'm gonna try to pick up a couple teacher gifts and other cutsy stuff! LOVE IT!

So I pray ya'll have a WONDERFUL weekend! I'll try to post some praise music at some point but right now I've gotta get myself cleaned up for my company! Love to all!!!!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

21 Verses!

This morning as I spent time in the prayer room at church it was kinda quiet. I mean, I was kinda quiet. As ya'll know it's not been a great week for me, but I knew I needed to go and spend some time in that place. Needless to say, God was faithful!

It's hard to just walk in that room and switch gears into prayer. Traffic alone is enough to make anyone not pray! =) As I got in there, it's always quiet, so I got a hymnal and started singing some good ole' songs to get myself in the place I needed to be. So, after a few songs I was able to begin my prayer time. As I started to intercede for others I could feel the Lord telling me there was some things I needed to pray about for myself FIRST! I had already spent my time at home praying and this was "supposed" to be my intercessory time, but God had some other things in mind.

I don't usually take anything but my Bible and my prayer journal with me to that room, but today I "happen" to take my "Prayers that avail much" books with me. I don't usually take these because, as you all know, I'm never short for words, especially in prayer. In fact, I have to set my alarm on my phone to let me know when my hour is up! (That's why I said I was quiet) Anyway, the Lord led me to a prayer titled "Victory over depression". Now, if you've never seen these books they are simply Scripture for a particular situation linked together in a beautiful prayer. I began to pray this prayer, began to weep (obviously - that's what I ALWAYS do - haha) and I began to feel the Lord just wrap His loving arms around me. Not that I hadn't felt it before, but it was just a special time between me and my Abba Daddy!

At the end of each prayer the Scripture references are listed and there are 21 verses that compile this prayer for depression. 21 Verses! AMAZING!! God knows we battle with our emotions. He made us to be emotional people, ESPECIALLY the female people! He wants us to bring our depression, our anxiety, our fears, ALL our emotions to Him! He wants to free us from it. The end of the prayer says and I repeat it again now:

"Thank you, Father, in Jesus' name, that I am set free from every evil work. I praise You that the joy of the Lord is my strength and stronghold! Hallelujah!"

Don't you love that? I sure do! How many times do I end a prayer with Hallelujah instead of Amen? Not often enough! Amen, brings a close to a prayer but Hallelujah let's Him know I'll be back in a bit! LOVE THAT! Thanks for your prayers for me this week, the Father heard and answered! He is faithful!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Tough week

We had an awesome weekend. Friday my sweet niece Rachel and her friend came down and we went to the Southern Christmas Show Sat. morning. LOVE IT! While we were there Jimmy's brother Greg, nephew Cody and his friend Brandon also came down. Yes, there were 10 people in my house Sat night and getting ready for church Sun morning! We had to be there at 7:00am (like every Sunday) and they all got up and went with us. I'm not sure why they would do that to themselves, but they did! haha

Sat. night Lisa had several couples over for an evening of prayer for our music ministry. We ate like pigs, we had some praise and worship and then we watched a video of Jim Cymbala preaching on "My house shall be called a house of prayer". GOOD stuff! Then we closed with some prayer time. My in-laws went with us and it was truly an incredible time with family, friends and the Lord. Church Sun morning was great as well. My group "One Voice" was singing that morning so the enemy did his best to distract me with some dumb stuff, but I prayed thru and was able to worship!

Mon. tough. I went to the Southern Christmas Show - AGAIN - with my friend Beth, who is a HOOT! It helped keep my mind off my daddy - for a while at least. Yesterday was not so great. I'm not feeling real good which doesn't help the blues at all! Then sweet Tracy calls to tell me her grandma went home to be with Jesus.. I wish I could go be with her. So today, I got the kids and the hubby out the door, I turned on some praise music, I opened up the Word and spent some time with my Abba Daddy! We spent some time studying Jacob and Rachel (in my Divine Encounters book) and then He took me thru some Psalms and then we ended up in Jeremiah.

We went to chapter 33 of Jeremiah. I love this verse. Jer 33:3 "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." I wish some things were that easy. I wish sometimes I could say "God, why in the world did my dad have to get brain cancer and die?" "Why did Tracy's grandma have to get Alzheimer's and be confused?" "Why". Then I sometimes wish He would just say "Well, Val (He would call me Val - haha) it's like this..." Today though He showed me that's it's not the answer that matters but the searching and the calling. If I knew the answers would it really make a difference? Sometimes yes, but most times no. What makes the difference is communicating with Him. Asking Him, trusting Him, seeking Him. That's what He wants from me.

So today, I'm going to shake off these blues, get my praise on, clean this house and get ready for church this evening. It's the least I can do for Him.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Gone but never forgotten...

The 1st picture is me and my daddy at the beach. It was the first time we had ever been to the beach together. My dad was self employed so he worked so that my mom could take us on vacations but never got to go himself. The next picture is my dad with my Chase. He loved snuggling with babies and taking a nap and Chase was only about 3 days old in this picture.

I miss you every day Daddy! I can't wait to get home and spend eternity praising Jesus with you!! I love you. BiKay

Friday, November 9, 2007

Weekend Worship...

God cares about the details and He IS small enough and BIG enough!
Praying for you Tracy! Love ya girl.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


Is anyone watching "Wednesday's with Beth" on Life Today? Oh land sakes! She's doing a series right now called "Lifequakes" - or God-quakes as she calls them - and let me tell you, it's some GOOOOOOOOD stuff! I think the main reason I like it so much is that I've had a few of those quakes in my life. Sometimes it was my own quake, sometimes quakes for my entire family, sometimes quakes for my friends, but a quake to me none the less.

Usually when a quake comes our tendency is to think it's a punishment. (and it can be) However, as Heb 12:26-29 tell us the things that can be shaken WILL be shaken. (my paraphrase, of course) That really fell fresh on me yesterday. God sometimes allows the quakes because there's some things that we need to shake off. Sometimes it's bad habits or lack of faith or misplaced trust or idolatry or pride. STUFF. Sin. Excuse me while I go on a tangent here but does it bother anyone else that in some churches today they are avoiding the word sin. I guess since it's not a positive, happy term they're not using it. WEARS ME OUT! Sorry.

Ok, anyway, quakes. When a quake comes into our lives - and they ARE coming - we have a choice. We can choose shame (the option the enemy give us) or we can choose freedom (the option the Father gives). That just blew my mind ya'll. I can look at some of the quakes in my life and see the times I chose the enemy's option and what a struggle it was to get out of that pit. Then I can look at the times I made the right choice and I can rejoice in the faithfulness and mercy of my Father. Amazing. Quakes = change. Change can be a scary thing. Change usually bring on anxiety and fear. That leads me back to sin. Anxiety and fear = sin. "DO NOT BE ANXIOUS about ANYTHING, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phil 4:6 "DON'T be afraid; just believe." Mk 5:36b (emphasis mine)

As you all know I'm no Biblical scholar but as far as I can tell the Word doesn't say, "You know, it really would be helpful if you didn't get anxious." Or "IF you can, IF it's at all possible don't be afraid". Or "Well, in THAT situation it's ok to be anxious" "It's not really talking about being anxious over our kids". NO YA'LL! It's says "DO NOT BE ANXIOUS" "DON'T BE AFRAID". It's our human nature to go there. To go to anxiety and fear - especially where our kids are concerned - God knows and understands that. I think though, what He wants from us is that when that tendency to get scared or to get anxious comes up, to stop and say "Lord I lift your name on high" or "Great is thy Faithfulness" or "Thou Art Worthy oh Lord" or "How Great is our God, sing with me" or whatever praise songs comes to your mind. Maybe it's not a song, but a prayer, (which is what most songs are), the point is "Cast ALL YOUR ANXIETY on him because he cares for you." I Pet 5:7. Again, not some of your anxiety or just the BIG ones or just the ones you feel like you can't handle but ALL YOUR ANXIETY!!! He's a BIG G GOD ya'll! He can handle it.

I believe He doesn't like the quakes. I believe He holds His breath while we're in it because he cares so much for us. (ya'll know I mean, I hope) But I also believe when we are in it, it's because there's a "whole lotta shakin" that needs to go on. I believe He's shakin things down, sifting it thru the sand to make us the shining jewel He wants us to be. "It is God's will that you should be sanctified" I Thess 4:3 Sanctified - made more like Jesus. Shaken, stirred, sifted, broken, then polished, refined, shining brilliant in His glorious freedom!! Choose freedom sista's!! I will. Won't you?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

OUCH Scriptures...

Have you ever run across a Scripture that frankly, you wish you hadn't? Like you read it and initially you think of SOMEONE ELSE it applies to but then the Holy Spirit says, "Uh, how about you look again little missy." Ok so am I the only one He talks to like that? =) Anyway, I found one of those verses yesterday. I read it and went...OUCH!

Proverbs (that whole book is an ouch for me) 26:18-19 "Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, 'I was only joking!'" OUCH! How many times a day do I say to people, I was only joking. Now don't get this verse wrong. God HAS a sense of humor - look at the platypus! But if we(I) say something and have to follow it with 'I was only joking' then is it humor? Sometimes with email you have to follow things with that because the intent of a statement can be misconstrued - but should I even be making that statement in the first place. (that's what the Holy Spirit was asking me)

Anyone who knows me knows that God gave me the gift of making people laugh. I do believe it's a gift because I do it so often it couldn't be anything else! Usually I do it even when I'm not TRYING to do it! I'm a goofball. I confess. But I also have a tendency to be a tad bit sarcastic. I know ya'll find that shocking! (see what I mean) Anyway, this verse just really hit me hard! I mean, it's not like I set out to deceive people. Not intentionally anyway. But how often do I mask stuff in humor - especially sarcasm - because I'm too chicken to just say what I really think or feel? Especially to my family!! Like I said, OUCH!!!

So my prayer is for some pure-hearted humor. Not the "Get 'er done!" variety, but just some good old belly laughs. I love the sound of laughter more than just about any other sound. I can walk into a room where total strangers are cracking up and start laughing too - even when I don't know what they're laughing at. (Like I said, it's a gift! haha SEE?!!) Please pray for me as I attempt being funny without being a madman shooting deadly arrows. OUCH! Sometimes the "TRUTH" hurts, doesn't it?

Father God, thank you for your conviction. Thank you that you love me enough to correct my behavior. Thank you for the "OUCH" verses. Thank you for refining me and making me more like your Son. It's in His name I pray.

Monday, November 5, 2007

To the test.....

We're doing a church-wide study of the Old Testament and in Sunday school (yes, we still call it Sunday school) yesterday we talked about Abraham's test. You know the story of Abraham taking Isaac to the mountain to sacrifice him to God but then God provides the ram. (Thank you Jesus for being my ram!)

Our teacher asked if we had ever taken a test that we were scared to take. (I, of course said a pregnancy test! haha) There were lots of examples across the room and lots of reasons why we didn't like the tests. However, when we look at Abraham's faith and his track record of being a liar, liar, pants on fire, it's kinda bizarre that God would put him to that BIG of a test. You would think, based on his history, that God may choose a test a bit easier. But that wasn't the plan. God knew how Abraham would handle this test. He already knew the outcome.

It's hard when we're being tested to think that God gave us this test because He knows we can handle it. I mean, when I was pregnant with baby #3, had a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old at home and then taking care of my dying father, plus honoring all my committments at church, I CERTAINLY didn't think I was up to that test. If God were choosing that test based on my track record, I was BOUND to fail. But praise God He knew the outcome. He knew how I'd handle that test. He knew I'd rely on Him for my strength, my comfort and my peace like I never had before. He knew that the test was meant to prepare me for an even BIGGER test in a few years. He knew. He knows.

I don't know about you, but I am learning to enjoy the freedom of my servanthood more and more each day! So many people think that following Christ is all about giving up. All about losing. For a lot of my life, I'll be honest with you, I thought the same thing. But thank God, He has been faithful and patient with me and has been showing me sweet release as I draw nearer and nearer to Him.

Freedom in surrender. That's the bottom line. That's the answer to the test. Whatever tests are in my future, I pray that I will remember the answer. I will remember to surrender. I pray the same for you...

Saturday, November 3, 2007

As we prepare for a day of worship....

Lord fall fresh on us as we join in your house tomorrow! Lord open the eyes of our hearts, we want to see you!!!

Friday, November 2, 2007


The Lord Provides

Lately I've been calling out to God using these names. I love them even if I'm likely butchering the Hebrew like crazy! Thank you that you live to intercede for me Christ!

My friend Nicki was having a bad day the other day and she was talking about God being our provider and let me just say that I could write a book about how often God has provided for my family and I in BIG ways! So it got me to diggin' into the Word about God providing and I stumbled on a familiar story but it really fell fresh on me this week. In fact, I've been sitting on it a few days before I attempted to blog because it really blew me away!

I Kings 17. Let me stop right here for a minute. For some reason I really had this preconception that Kings and Chronicles were - well frankly - not up there with the most exciting books in the Word. I know, it's really sad how dense I am! haha

Anyway, Elijah was hiding from Ahab (the Arab! sorry, couldn't resist) because he had just dropped the little bomb that their Baal had no power over the rain so the king was not real happy to see him. Anyway, Elijah was hiding near this ravine and God told him "You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there." 14:4 Ok, I'm no Biblical scholar but I'm PRETTY CERTAIN God did NOT mean the Baltimore Ravens! In fact, I don't think the NFL was around! JK! Do you get that? God ordered ravens to feed Elijah! "The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook." 14:6 Ok, I have to admit that I DO NOT like ravens. I don't like crows. I can't help but think of them as the "death bird". (I know, I can't believe I read Stephen King either! Grace, people, grace!) But if I'm gonna let God work I've got to get over whatever idea I have of HOW He's gonna do it!

Ok, back to the provision. THEN the brook dries up (remember who was controlling the rain) so God sends him to another town where a widow would take care of him. Now, last I checked widows weren't real high on the social scale but Elijah couldn't exactly be choosy. So he meets the widow she asks him if he's lost his mind because she wasn't about to give him the last of her flour and oil because she had a son, after all! (ok ya'll understand this is my interpretation right? haha) Elijah promises her that the Lord would provide and "She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah." 17:15-16 Do you get that? Her jars did not run dry. THE LORD PROVIDES.

Now if that weren't enough the story goes on that the widows son becomes very sick and Elijah cries to the Lord to spare him and the son lives. The chapter ends with the woman (who was a bit skeptical of Elijah's word for her) saying "Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord from your mouth is the truth." 17:24 So, if you have a need, cry out to Jehovah-Jireh, claim His truth in the Word and then be ready to listen to Him. It may require some effort on your part (Elijah had to go to the brook and the widow - the widow had to follow Elijah's instruction and share her flour and oil) but that's what relationship is! You seek Him, He instructs you, you work, you seek Him....RELATIONSHIP!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


The Lord My Shepherd

I find it no conincidence that I post about warnings and the enemy starts. Yesterday evening a very dear friend of mine was robbed outside the grocery store. She is fine physically, but her purse was stolen (Coach bag at that) with her wallet, checkbook, cellphone, everything inside. Then today there was a group of young boys that I didn't recognize walking down my street, going between houses, just looking suspicious. I call the police and they "disappear" and at last check were nowhere to be found.

So I got my Word out and started to just claim me some promises from my Jehovah-raah. Maybe they'll help you today too.

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress. I will never be shaken." Ps 62:1-2 Think about those words. God is my fortress. The Creator of the galaxies is around me, protecting me, guarding me. Then I will never be shaken. When my car is broken into, I will never be shaken. When my friend is robbed, I will never be shaken. When suspicious people are lurking, I will never be shaken.

Now it may seem easy to say those words but believing it down in my heart...well that's another story. Fortunately, the Lord reminded me of my time with Him at the beach when He gave me Mark 5:36. (Jesus said) "Don't be afraid; just believe." So today I choose to believe. I choose not to sit locked up in my house in fear.

I choose to "say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" Heb 13:6

Thank you Jehovah-raah for taking care of this lost sheep today. Thank you for surrounding me with your Presence and for being my Fortress. I choose to believe Your Word and not to live in fear. Thank you for protecting me and my family. I love you Father. You are worthy to be praised!!!

Monday, October 29, 2007


We all hate to see that in the subject line in our email inbox don't we? It's so funny because most of the time...sorry to anyone who sends them to me...I don't even open them and read them. Sometimes I do, however, and occasionally they are funny or cute or whatever. But for the most part they go straight to the delete folder because I'm scared to death to give this dinosaur computer of mine any potentially lethal virus it can't recover from.

Lately though I've been getting these "warning" fwd's. Warning about political candidates and where they stand, warning about movies that are harmful to my kids, warning about exposing kids to household cleaning products, warnings. It can drive a person to lock your kids in the house and never go out again, if you've lost your mind anyway! haha Seriously though it's strange that these warning fwd's have hit me so much lately.

So, how does God meet my rising anxiety? With a message from Dr. Rummage yesterday that laid it wide open for me. "Developing Spiritual Discernment" was the title and I Thess. 5:19-22 was the Scripture. For time sake I'll just give you his points. To have spiritual discernment we must 1. FOLLOW God's Spirit. 2. LOVE God's word. 3. TEST ALL THINGS. 4. Embrace the TRUTH. 5 REJECT falsehood. (emphasis mine) This is how we're gonna experience maximum joy in this life. Do these things. Easy enough right? HARDLY!! Living a Christ-centered life is WORK people. There's no free ride, easy train, life. We gotta do the hard work. We gotta say NO to the movies we know aren't good for our kids. We gotta say NO to relationships that we feel are not in our/their best interest. We gotta be willing to be unpopular, to be unliked, to be DIFFERENT.

So while I appreciate the warnings I get it's not the first time I've heard of these things. I think we have a tendency to get so wrapped up in our own little bubbles of life that we lose our "Kingdom Vision". Jesus told us thousands of years ago "Watch out that no one deceives you (political candidates). You will hear of wars and rumors of wars (Iraq/Iran/Afghanistan/North Korea), but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come." Mth 24:5-6 with my inserts. Ya'll none of these warnings are new and yet I get these things from people who seem surprised. Look at the hope, even in the middle of all that stuff Jesus was talking about. Do you see it? "but the end is still to come" Ya'll, He's coming! If we're His, He's coming to get us! He's coming to rescue us! Praise His Name!

"'Yes I am coming soon.' Amen. Come, Lord Jesus." Rev 22:20

Friday, October 26, 2007

My treat last night...

My man took me to the Celtic Woman concert last night. (thanks for the tickets Ty!) It was incredible!! You may not like their style but their passion for their music will draw anyone in. My man loves the percussion! (of course the girls are easy on the eye too! haha) Enjoy!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Good stuff...

Well, land sakes. God is good ya'll and He just cracks me up! After the day started like it did I have to tell you how it ended. I still am not feeling all that great, but with the illnesses I have, such is life. My thorn, if you will.

After my kids got home we went to go pick up my other kids (the Jeu De Vine's) to take them home. On Wednesday's I usually have to sit with them for 30 min or so til Grandma gets home so we're sitting on the couch yesterday and the middle child comes over and starts showing me this "cool book" her mom has. It's called "Prayer Portions". Now I don't know if any of you have ever seen or participated in this book, but every time I've ever done it, I get the BIGGEST zit on my face! No lie! The purging just causes this incredible mass on my face! =0) So as she's flipping thru the book she gets to this section on personal prayer and praying over personal sins and she takes her little finger down the list and says "Oh, self-pity, that's a tough one don't ya think Ms. Val?" Yeah. I know!!! I didn't know if I should smack her or hug her! hahaha So I had to spend a few minutes with the Father making sure my grief wasn't taking me to a place of self-pity. OUCH!

Ok. So then, my middle son gets home and he's struggling BIG TIME with his science homework so we miss church because I had to help him. He has a test this morning so we had to nail it down. (Lord, help it come to his mind today.) So I get everyone in bed and my man comes home from church and I'm telling him about my day and apologizing to him for blasting him, via email (the chicken route), for putting one of my favorite shirts in the dryer and shrinking it. Yeah. Special. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that the girl from earlier also pointed out "Demanding your rights. That's a tough one too isn't it Ms. Val?" in the personal sins book. (See why I get a zit every time I pick up that book?) So, I had to fix that too. SPECIAL!

So as if that wasn't enough, I turn on Life Today for some Wednesday's with Beth. If you didn't see it, go to the Life Today site and watch it. LAND SAKES! So she's talking about Paul and Silas in prison from Acts 16:16-35. Yeah, you know where this is going don't you? She starts talking about how praise can alter our attitude on a daily/hourly basis even. She said the more we engage in praise and not speak about our misery the more we'll want to praise despite our feelings. Ok, I want to know which one of you called her and told her about me? haha She reminded us how powerful the mouth is and instead of staying in the cycle of feeling sad, lonely, depressed, opressed, whatever and then speaking about how bad we feel, making us feel even worse (sound like anyone you know? sure sounds familiar haha) we should just open our mouths and praise the Lord! Praise Him even when the first word isn't sincere! It will become sincere, heart-felt praise, because of who God is!

She talked about the season she's come thru - losing her dad and all - and how she was getting ready to speak but didn't "feel like it" so she put on her Kirk Franklin music - which I have to just stop right there for a minute. Get the visual with me. Here's this tiny, little, dare I say 40-50ish white woman (sorry Ms. Beth) gettin her praise on with Kirk Franklin! That just cracks me up!! Anyway, she was listening to "Revolution" - the song I put on my blog last night - and how when Kirk said "Do you want a revolution" she looked at her ipod and said "Yes I do - woo woo" I'm tellin ya I about fell off the chair. Even my man was rollin!!! I just had to share that with ya'll. It doesn't at all pertain to me, but it's still so stinkin' funny!!!! LOVE IT!!

Ok, so this morning I choose praise. "I will rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word." Ps 119:147 "I will life up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Ps 121:1-2 "I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone." Ps 71:16 "I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving." Ps 69:30

I praise you Father! If you choose to never bless me again I will still praise your name! I love you Father! I thank you Father! You are Jehovah-Jireh, Jehovah-Rapha, my Jehovah-shammah!! Thank you Lord for loving me, for caring for me and for reminding me that it's time to stop the misery cycle and praise!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Land sakes after the day I've had did God Almighty send me a Word thru our sweet Siesta Beth tonight on Life Today or what?!

Forgive me Father for keeping myself in a cycle of misery this day when I should've been opening my mouth to praise you! I love you Father and you alone are worthy of my praise! I choose to praise you! I choose your peace in my heart and not the lies the enemy is feeding me!! I choose you!!! I love you Father!

Appropriate for how I feel today!

God I thank you that YOU know how I feel. I praise you even when I feel like staying in the bed! Thank you for running to me today. You are good! I love you Lord.

Tis the season...

Well here it comes. The season. While Christians have every reason for this to be our FAVORITE time of year - being thankful for our Saviour, our family, etc and then celebrating His birth - it's also the busiest time and for some of us, the saddest time of year. (no doubt the enemy planned it that way)

The enemy is starting early on me this year. November 12 was the day my daddy died and as I get closer and closer to that day the harder and harder the evil one works. My body is tired, it's achy, it's just yucky! I feel like just getting back in the bed and sleeping all day. My lupus is starting to act up a bit, my joints are more achy than normal and I had my thyroid check-up last week and it is TOTALLY out of whack which does nothing but exasperate all of these symptoms.

So as I approach the 5 year anniversary I'm leaning more and more on the Lord. I know my dad is happy. I know he's with Jesus, he's with his parents and my mom's parents and I know he's rocking my babies. You would think that after 5 years it would be easier but it's just not! Yeah, I don't think about it as much, but I still miss him so badly.

Ok, enough. Anyway, I just covet your prayers. I work so hard at putting on my happy face for my man and for my kids and for my friends but today just isn't one of those days. Today, I just wanna curl up in my Abba Daddy's lap and let Him love on me! I'm so thankful He cares enough to do just that! Thanks for praying for me ya'll and sorry this wasn't a very fun post.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Quick note...

Hey all. Just a quick note. Lucy (aka Tracy) is back to blogging land! Her demon possessed computer has been healed and she's back! Go check her out. I know she'll be glad you popped over.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Distractions, distractions, distractions...

Does the enemy get on ya'll's nerves as much as he does mine? Man oh man, he was not happy that I intended to get me some alone time with my Abba Daddy this weekend! He started working on me Thursday with the whole van break-in thing. (sad but I don't know if I told ya'll my van was broken in to - nothing stolen) But he was even working on me at church last night. Tireless I tell ya. He knows his time is short so he's gonna do his best to slow me down. But here's a newsflash Satan, YOU LOSE, I WIN THRU JESUS!!!!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yesterday at church was just an AWESOME day! Great time in worship, great sermons and my sweet friend Lisa gave me a copy of Jim Cymbala's "Fresh Wind Fresh Fire" so I spent the afternoon reading it. AWESOME BOOK! I was gonna post all the ways the enemy used people and circumstances to distract me this weekend, but I think I'll spend some time lifting up my Jesus instead!

Friday night my girl Leigh spoke and don't you know an older lady prayed to receive Jesus!!! Is that amazing or what? God is good! Saturday someone hurt my feelings REALLY bad but then several girlfriends sent notes of encouragement and love and I just felt the Father telling me it was ok and not at all about ME but what the other person was dealing with! If that's not a miracle of God I don't know what is!! Can I get an amen?! By Sunday afternoon that person had emailed to apologize and ask forgiveness. God is faithful! Then last night at church Dr. Rummage brought the fire as he started a series on worship. Oh my lands! There were a lot of choir and orchestra members all around us and we were all shouting amens and clapping - just gettin downright Bapticostal! LOVE IT!! (You missed it Melissa! haha) God is moving!

Then this morning my "God Calling" was titled Home-Building. Here's a couple of lines. "You are building an unshakable faith. Be furnishing the quiet places of your soul now. Fill them with all that is harmonious and good, beautiful and enduring." Is that the best? After a weekend of a roller-coaster emotional ride - one that was intended to be a quiet time I'm encouraged to keep furnishing those quiet times! Don't you just love God? He's so loving and gentle and kind to us. He is faithful!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

God alone is worthy of worship! What else is there to say...

Friday, October 19, 2007

Be still...

Ya'll. The Lord is good. Sometimes it's so loud in my life. It's so loud in my head! (all those voices =)) My plans are to really take some time this weekend and be still. "Be still and know..." Not be still and question. Not be still and worry. Not be still and wonder. "Be still and know..."

My prayer is that you'll do the same. Even if you can't physically be still, take time to be still in your heart. In the hours when the little ones are tucked in tight and the man has begun his nightly "noise", in the hours in the morning before the stir begins, be still. He LOVES it when we take the time and He speaks...

Will you listen?...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Ps 4:8

A few weeks ago I went to the beach with my girlfriends and we had a BLAST! We stayed up til the wee hours of the morning talking about so many things but mostly about the Lover of our souls. It was great. You may remember that I wrote about fear and what a stronghold it had on me. I didn't realize how many areas of my life it had crept into but I really dealt with it quite a bit that weekend and released a lot of it to my Abba Daddy.

Well, the enemy was paying attention. It's 8:20am here and it's already been quite an eventful morning. As my man went to take the babies to school my van had been ransacked, his truck had been jimmied open and the bag he carries to church and another box were laying out in the yard. Someone had broken into our vehicles. As he quickly assessed things and went on to take the kids to school I was left to clean up. Nothing appeared to be missing because I'm usually good about not keeping anything valuable in my car - however there were 2 baby dolls left in the van and THANK GOD they were ok. That would've been MAJOR DRAMA! haha

As I went to pick up the broken box in the yard I realized it didn't come from Jimmy's truck because of the contents. My next door neighbor is a policeman and I looked at his car and the trunk was popped and the door was partially open - they had hit him too. They did manage to steal some of his equipment but no weapons - THANK GOD! Also, my other neighbor's home was broken into about 2 weeks ago.

This neighborhood used to be a really good one but things are changing despite the installation of street lights. I guess that's the way the world goes. No neighborhood is really exempt. My friends live in an upper scale neighborhood in the area and their home was broken into as well. "In this world you will have trouble".

While we were at the beach I talked about my fear of sleeping with all the lights off. I know. It's pitiful. My friend Lisa shared a verse with me then and I know the Lord planted it in me for this morning! Thank you Lisa for speaking this Word over me and thank you Father for being my shelter, my strong tower, my hiding place!

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Ps 4:8

Father God thank you for protecting our property and our lives. Lord I pray for the person who is so desperate to break in to cars in the middle of the night. Lord may they find You, their only safe haven. Lord, please continue to protect my family and our home. You alone, O Lord are my safety and I thank you for loving me enough to keep my family from harm. Your plans are to give us hope and a future so Lord I now thank you for completing those plans in us and I cling to the only hope I have. YOU! Thank you Father. I love you and I praise Your name! All these things I offer to you thru the name above every name, the name of your son Jesus. Amen.