Tuesday, October 7, 2008

"Abba's Child"

It's my new addiction, this book! The Lord has been using it to speak VOLUMES to me y'all. I mean VOLUMES! I'm only on the 3rd chapter because I keep going back and rereading things over and over and over. Plus, trying to decide what I wanna share with y'all too. Some of it's not too pretty, so no sharing. (though I've surely shared enough of my ugliness haven't I? UGH)

So here's a few lines from Chpt 2 that I thought I'd pass along. Smacked me right upside my head when I read these. The book begins with a reference to Flannery O'Connor's short story "The Turkey" and the principal character named Ruller. Ruller is an unusual boy who likes to kinda be alone, he spots a wounded turkey, kills it and takes it home for his family to eat. He's strutting thru town showing it off to everyone and as he spots some people who are a bit worse off than he and his family he starts to feel bad for them. However, instead of giving them the turkey he gives them a dime. He then runs into some older, bigger boys and they steal his turkey. Ruller, frozen in fear, finally turns and runs for home. Manning then says, "In Ruller many of us Christians stand revealed, naked, exposed. Our God, it seems, is One who benevolently gives turkeys and capriciously takes them away. When He gives them, it signals His interest in and pleasure with us. We feel close to God and are spurred to generosity. When He takes them away, it signals His displeasure and rejection. We feel cast off by God." He goes on to say "So we unwittingly project onto God our own attitudes and feelings toward ourselves. If we feel hateful toward ourselves, we assume that God feels hateful toward us. But we cannot assume that He feels about us the way we feel about ourselves - unless we love ourselves compassionately, intensely and freely. In human form Jesus revealed to us what God is like. It takes a profound conversion to accept that God is relentlessly tender and compassionate toward us just as we are - not in spite of our sins and faults (that would not be total acceptance), but with them. Though God does not condone or sanction evil, He does not withhold His love because there is evil in us." Whew.

So, how this all spoke to me was that for years I sat just waiting for the day God was going to zap me with a lightning bolt for the times I've blown it. I truly had a "Chicken Little" attitude with God. The sky was falling on me little by little every day. Then praise His precious name I had my "profound conversion"! I finally realized that God is relentlessly trying to love me, trying to show me compassion, trying to heal my wounds, but I was so busy waiting for His Hand of Justice to fall that I wouldn't allow Him to be my Abba Daddy. But like I said, He was relentless...praise His name! I don't know where you are in your walk or in your life, but I will tell you this. The Father is waiting to love you. He's waiting to free you. He's waiting to accept you are...scars and all...wounds and all. He wants to heal them. He can't allow you to continue in sin, but after He heals your heart, trust me sisters, you won't WANT to continue in them.

See why I'm lovin' this book?! I'll be sharing more of it as we go along. Hope you liked it.


Lucy said...

You have no idea how much I needed to read this today. I've been so disgusted with myself for the past couple of weeks because of my attitude with circumstances (nothing that you don't already know). I've asked God to forgive me for my attitude, but been so disgusted with myself because of my attitude that I've felt like God is completely disgusted with me too. Thanks for reminding me! I love you, Val!