My oh my....

It's been a bit of a crazy week around here. Not in the sense that there's a lot physically going on, but there's been an emotional hurricane just blowin' like crazy. First, last Friday, without any warning or really any reasons the company that hired my man called him in and decided it wasn't "working". So, he's unemployed...again. Just pray. Enough said.

I just had to get on here and tell you about how funny God is. Ok, I think I've mentioned before that God and I have this thing with birds. It started with ducks - really - but since then has moved into all winged creatures alike. Often times I've had encounters - DEEP spiritual encounters with the Lord - where birds have been involved. He's spoken to me OFTEN thru things I've seen birds do - too numerous to tell all at once really. Maybe I should do a series on my bird stories.

So, anyway, back to this week. Wednesday night I met with my little singing "group" to rehearse for Sunday's offertory. We're doing something we've done before because our schedules have been so crazy, but it's been a couple of years since we done it in church - we sang it during a Christmas concert but not IN church. After we finished practicing, I started. I mean, I hadn't been around anyone other than my man and my kids all week and they were the first (victims) friends to catch it. I started about how upset with Jimmy I was, how worried I was for our family when it didn't appear to me that he was as worried as I was (as if there's a prize for who worries most). Just basically unloading on them. Being the sweet, loving, gracious friends they are, they just sat and listened, offered no judgement, offered no advice, they just stopped and prayed right then and there.

So, as we're walking out of the church I began to feel the Holy Spirit saying to me "Was all that really necessary? I mean, don't you think they have enough of their own stuff? After all, shouldn't I be the one dealing with that?" So I began to justify "Well I'm only human, ya know. I'm doing my best to get thru this. I'm trying my best to support my man." And right in the midst of all the justification for my sin the Lord sent me a message LOUD AND CLEAR. One of those precious little birds that He so often has used to speak to my heart flew over my head and UNLOADED ON ME!!!!! Oh yes! The Lord clearly said "This is what I think of your justification young lady!!" Never in my life have I had a bird poo right on top of my head, but you better believe it happened after I had unloaded. Go ahead and laugh, I'll wait........

Ok, ya done? So needless to say, I had some repenting to do first to my Father, then to my man, then to my friends. UGH!! Will I ever learn?!! So, in the midst of my little tantrum the Lord used my own mouth to reveal the core of the issue. I'm not believing God. I'm not believing that He will provide. I'm worried about what we'll eat. I'm worried about clothes for school and supplies for school. I'm worried about Jimmy finding a job. All in COMPLETE disobedience to the Word. You might be saying "Well that's normal, girl, go easy on yourself" but you better make sure there's no birds over your head when you say that because that's not what the Lord says. In fact, He clearly says "Be anxious for NOTHING." NOTHING. PERIOD. Not, well it's ok to be anxious for that, after all who wouldn't. But He's asking me, asking all of us really, "Are you gonna trust me with _______" fill in the blank.

So here I am. Trusting. Believing. Hoping. Waiting. Watching for birds too!! hahaha