Monday, July 16, 2007

Sick of "I"

I can't believe it's been 4 days since I sat down here. Wow. Been kinda busy.

Well, that's only partially true. I have been busy, had a Dr. appt Thu, dinner with church friends Fri, hubby had a "gig" Sat (coffeehouse) and our big day of praise yesterday! However, I have to tell you that posting all those things about myself was actually QUITE difficult for me. Not that I mind sharing, or talking (heaven knows) BUT it's talking about ME! I'd much rather be telling you about Jesus, my man or my kids!!! MUCH rather!!

I know that may sound silly as this whole blog is about me, but my sincere prayer and desire for this blog is that you will see JESUS in me, not me, but Jesus working in me, thru me, IN SPITE of me!!!! This is truly a difficult balance on this blog. Not making every entry about me but having every entry bring glory and honor to my Abba Father!

I believe that so many of us struggle every day with self-esteem issues. We tend to be like a pendulum on that topic swinging either to the extreme of LOW self-esteem or to the other extreme of HIGH (prideful) self-esteem (though I doubt we'll admit it). I have spent the biggest part of my life on the low side. I have always felt unworthy, unlovable, get the point. But God (don't you just LOVE hearing those two words together) in His infinite mercy led me to a study on the book of Daniel. (I tried really hard not to say her name haha) The teacher of the study wrote a line that hit me up side my head like she had a 2X4 in her hand!!! The line was "low self-esteem is still SELF esteem"!!! Do you get that? Feeling badly about yourself (especially in light of who you are in Christ) is still esteeming YOURSELF!!!!!!! You're still making YOURSELF an idol!!!! I KNOW!! BLEW ME AWAY TOO!!

I mean when you think about low self-esteem and how many of us struggle with that it's hard to imagine there's any pride in that. However, think of it this way, "No one is as ugly as me!" "No one has a past like mine." "No one could ever love me." Sounds prideful when you put it that way doesn't it? Yesterday, Dr. Rummage (our assoc pastor) preached about America sliding toward Sodom and spoke on sin and pride. What is at the center of sin and pride? "I"!

So today after spending sometime with the Father these past few days and checking any self-esteem issues I may have had I can tell you that I am nothing more than a sinner saved by His grace and mercy!!! I am a child of God a servant to the King of Kings!! I am the bride of Christ!! Those other 100 things you read about me are insignificant in comparison (though I guess they make for a good laugh! hahaha)! I pray that each of you will consider any self-esteem issues you might have (good or bad) and ask the only One worthy of esteem to reveal them and clean them up!

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Romans 12:3


Kim said...

Girl - good stuff today! You are right on. Our service was great yeserday, wasn't it? Dr. Rummage's sermon was incredible.

I am still interested in who you are as a person - and those 100 things about you did make me realize that we have a lot in common. :) Press on!

Nicki said...

First of all you are so beautiful!! Your hair always looks awesome and you have the best smile on that stage!! But, I'm with you on this whole esteem thing..and isn't having girl's so hard b/c you know they are watching every move you make with your body, hair and make up!

I too was about to fall over with Dr.R's sermon yesterday! It was awesome!! Whew!!

Leigh Gray said...

oh how i wish i could have been there for the sermon. hey Val - any change on you all getting to sing THE song???

well, I just gotta praise Him!!


Valarie said...

No change yet girl! We're still gonna praise Him though!!!