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Monday, May 14, 2007

Weary.....

Just typing that word brings a heaviness on my soul. I tell ya that there are some days I wake up and my body lets me know it's gonna be a fight (the joys of Lupus). I'm so thankful that God promised to be my portion for that day!! He is good. I have to confess, though, that there are days when I'm not quite as "spiritual" and I just wanna sit around and mope and whine about being tired of the battle raging in my body, the battle raging in my spirit and the battle raging in my mind!! The latter being the greater!!

The enemy KNOWS my weakness - he KNOWS how much I love a pity party and he LOVES to try to get one started. He's been doing that to me the last couple of days. My body's not feeling so great - just adjusting to climate changes I think - our finances are well, still tough and my kids have been exceptionally testy this past week! Not to mention with Jimmy's new job schedule I have more "on me" then I've ever had with all 3 kids. See what I mean - just listing all that makes me wanna switch to my whinerschnitzel voice! haha

But then God in His gracious compassion and unfailing kindness sends me a Word thru His servant Dr. Stephen Rummage yesterday from Ps 3. "But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory and the One who lifts my head. I was crying to the Lord with my (whinerschnitzel) voice, And He answered me from His holy mountain. I lay down and slept; I awoke; for the Lord sustains me." insertion mine - haha

I'm so grateful that God cares about ALL my emotions! He delights in my praise and worship but He also cares enough to listen to my whining!! My girlfriend has a "NO WHINING" sign in her office and it cracks me up but I'm sooooo grateful God has no such signage around the throne! What He wants is relationship and obedience. He wants me to take Him my whining then listen for and TO His answer and then DO IT! I'm reminded of my daddy's favorite song - the one he asked me to sing at his funeral - so I thought I'd share it with you. PLEASE sing along if you know it!

"I would love to tell you what I think of Jesus, since I've found in Him a friend so strong and true. I would tell you how He changed my life completely. He did something that no other friend could do.

No one ever cared for me like Jesus. There's no other friend so kind as He. No one else could take the sin and darkness from me. Oh how much He cares for me!"

"The Lord you God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17

2 comments:

Nicki said...

So sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well......My mom has a friend who has lupus and know she has had a hard time as well....I can relate though.....I had a hard week last week and I know the strains of kids can really wear you down....although I'm sure it's ten times harder on you!! Praying for ya!!

Valarie said...

Thanks Nicki! I appreciate your prayers girl!